Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Two Great Minds


If you take a hard look at the world today , is easy to determine that there is an increase in divorces and there also are many failed relationships. One may wonder why are there so many people getting divorce? Why are divorces or separations so difficult? Why do people who are suppose to love each other so much, end up being bitter enemy's? Why can't people just get alone? Some of these questions are very hard to answer, because in most cases they are or seem to be very  complicated. But in truth it is because there was never any unity. What I have learned from my own divorce, was that my ex-wife and I were never truly on the same page. We had  different view's on how life should be lived and also had different thoughts on how to solve certain problems. We never became one as a couple and we hardly ever compromised. The only things we really had in common was that we both at the time loved each other, we both were single parents and  both of us attended the same church.(At least we compromised on that)

 As I think back , I always knew our marriage was doomed from the start. Not because of our differences, but because of our unwillingness to compromise or change. Another thing that happen to doom our marriage was her unwillingness to accept my children. Its sounds strange that a single parent wouldn't accept another single parents children, but in fact this happens a lot. I once heard an old woman say this before I got married, but never really paid attention to this statement, which is, when you marry you marry to change, just as you would when you become a child of Christ. What she meant by this is when you become married or saved you are suppose to change and become something new. Who you were before you became married or saved no longer applies. You obligated yourself to change the minute you decided to marry or to be saved. Its a contract between you and God.

 As simple as that sounds I asked my father after I received my divorce, this question, Why are divorces so difficult or nasty? He laughed at me and said," Son that's why its called divorce, its suppose to be nasty or difficult ". I wasn't amused with his answer and asked him what did he mean by his statement . Then he said when son when you separate what God has put together then what do you expect? Besides if you and your ex-wife were unified then there would never have been a divorce. As I think about what he said I realize that he was right, also that I made a mistake even before I got married. My ex-wife and I should have been on the same page before we got married. We also should have compromised and became a unified couple. Yes, trust, honesty and being faithful are the keys to a healthy marriage. But without unity or God as the head of your marriage, then your marriage or relationship s headed for failure. To those who may read this take some advice from someone who now understands the reasons for his failed marriage. If you or your future spouse are not on the same page, unified or as some may say equally yoked , then your marriage or relationship may already be doomed. If you can not get your future spouse or mate to compromise, then it may become a problem that may doom your future marriage or relationship. Two people who love each other should first learn and appreciate what made them fall in love with each other in the first place. They should discuss what are their likes or dislikes, what they hate and what they really love about each other. Then come to terms with all of their issues or problems. They must become a unified couple, because if they don't, then the devils job will become easy when he decided to destroy the relationship or marriage. Both should also be one, Two Great Minds in Christ, because it will be needed when the enemy and the world is out to destroy their marriage.
Be blessed
Charles
Romans 15:5 Now the God of patience and consolation grant you to be like minded one toward another according to Christ Jesus:


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