Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Make Love Not War


For those who may look at this title and have naughty thoughts going through your mind, get your mind out of the gutter! Just kidding.(smile) But there is a good reason, I titled this journal this way as a way of getting your attention . As I look back on my failed relationships or marriage, there was one common thing that I really hated and that was arguing. I really hated to fuss or fight and having those type of situations make any man or woman not even want to come home. I think if you ever been in a stressful relationship or marriage you would agree that there is nothing worse than coming home to a person that always complains, fusses or argues. If you ever experienced being in a relationship with a person who enjoys arguing or a person that always has something negative to say, then you know what I am talking about. If not let me describe this person to you. (1) Have you ever encountered a person who thinks, they know it all? You know the person that has been to college for over 20 years? The person that brags about how many degrees they have or how much more experience in life they are than yourself. Or the person that enjoys talking about people or someone who enjoys spreading rumors or lies. They watch the news so much, that they themselves become anchor men or women.(2) Or have you met the perfectionist? You know they type of person that does not want a hair in their head to get  out of place. House is perfectly clean( I am that person smile). Someone who takes pride in themselves, so much so that they forget that others are not that way or they may feel they have never made a mistake in their life, therefore they are perfect.(3) Finally the person that has a lot of friends or relatives you know the ones that get in your business. Your man or woman love their friends or relatives' so much that they either tell them everything that is  going on in your home(especially the bad stuff) or your spouses friends or relatives might try to influence your mate to do something that you may not like. Those are just some of the things that can drive a man or woman crazy and those things can break up a happy home. It seems the people that do not have a man or a woman are the ones, that are always trying to ruin your relationship. My mother used to say misery loves company and if you happen to have more happiness then your friends or relatives then they aren't happy. Also you have to be, on the look out, for people who are either jealous or envious of you. These people will stop at nothing or will do anything to ruin your relationship or marriage. It seems when you think everything is good at home, is when the devil comes right in and ruin your life.

I have been asked this question by many women in my lifetime," Why is it that men do not seem to know what they want or need "?After some careful thought or consideration, I began to realize that when it comes to love or marriage, both men and women have a lot in common. Most men or women only want to be happy or satisfied and want a a life that's free of drama or stress. Everyone regardless of back ground,color or  race want someone they can call their own or their soul mates. To some women, men may seem complicated, but just like women, men have feelings too. Men hate it when they are lied too, cheated on or deceived. Men respect people who are very up front with their feeling or beliefs, but men also have very little respect for women who pretend or those who are deceitful just to get something they may want or need. But what makes almost any man mad or angry is a woman that enjoys arguing or a woman that loves to insult her man. From my own experiences, I often reflect on those bad memories. Those bad times or memories are the ones that make me more cautious when dating or looking for a spouse. After having many conversations with many men I begin to realize that most men feel the same as I do.
 I want to assure any woman who may read this and say, "Yes, there are many good men out there  a lot of them are God fearing, caring and understanding . If you consider yourself a good woman or a good wife, understand this God did not stop making good men. Where are the good men? Well they are everywhere and in places you may not even consider looking in. But just like many women ,men are scared or fearful of giving their hearts to someone who may hurt them. After all women are men's biggest weakness. Also after some careful thought and prayer I began to realize, where there is trouble the devil is always in the mist. I know there are a lot of women who enjoy a good argument or enjoy matching wits with their spouse or mates and some men enjoy a good fight just like anyone else. But when it comes to love or marriage, most men would rather make love than start a war , fuss or fight.
May God bless you always,
Charles

Hosea 6:1 "Come, let us return to the LORD. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds.
Jeremiah 33:6 "'Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.

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