tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84976129316540667972011-12-01T11:34:09.112-08:00God Verses Man1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love.holmes0915http://www.blogger.com/profile/12297519671493680652noreply@blogger.comBlogger143125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8497612931654066797.post-25693284249683256422011-11-21T12:48:00.001-08:002011-11-26T14:34:44.558-08:002011-11-26T14:34:44.558-08:00Black Sheep<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div dir="ltr">As a child, I used to wonder why I was treated differently from the rest of the family. I used to wonder why, my brothers or my sisters had better clothes, received more love or better treatment and received better gifts at Christmas. I would wonder why my little brothers or sisters hardly every got punished for their mistakes and also why when I did something wrong I was punished more severely than the rest. As I grew older and got out on my own I used to wonder why I wasn't , invited to certain family functions. I wondered from a distance why, after I left that my brothers or sisters learned how to drive a car and latter got new cars. (Because as a teen, I never received that same treatment) I used to ask myself these many questions, am I so different or wrong to deserve this treatment? Why doesn't Mom or Dad love me like they love the rest? Why was Mom or Dad so mean too me? Are they concern or do they even care about my feelings? I remember countless nights either crying or praying asking God to explain to me why was I so different and why was I treated this way. After all this is my family, the people that are suppose to love me.</div><div dir="ltr">As I think back on my life as a child most of it is was like a blur and most of my childhood wasn't very good. I remember the strange looks my father used to give me and also remember how much I was talked about when my mother had discussion with her family or friends. I also remember looking at my brothers and sisters wondering why some was so tall and others had color skin or hair so different from my own. My mother used to say this to me as a child when I did something wrong," I think the doctor made a mistake and I think I took home the wrong child". There were times I wondered to myself did she really mean it when she said those mean words or did she say these things because she was mad or upset with me? I know I wasn't a perfect child, as a matter of fact I was far from it, but neither was my brothers or sisters. We all gave our parents our share of problems and made many mistakes. But even while making mistakes I was punished more severely than my brothers or sisters. My father used to say the reasons why he was so hard on me and beat me so severely , was because I was the oldest, therefore I should set the example for the rest. At that time I had no choice but to except that explanation, because he was right and I was indeed the oldest. But boy did it hurt when he punished me for my brothers or sisters' mistakes.</div><div dir="ltr">When I think about my father, I think about how intimidating he looked to me. Back in those days all men had big hand, big shoulders and had a look that would scare any child. When growing up in the seventies, it was common for men to be hard on their boys and I credit my father for molding me into the man I am today. It wasn't until I was forty years old did I find out that the man that raised me and the man I thought was my father, wasn't really my real father. When I first heard about this I wasn't prepared to deal with it, because at that time I was dealing with more pressing issues. But after time and after my life settled down, I was able to think more about my past as a child. After I let the thought of the man that raised me soak in,then I realized that it was really a fact that he wasn't my father. One thought or question came to mind. Why did my mother keep this a secret and why did they lie or keep this a secret? If you never been in my position its hard to explain how it feels to be different, not loved or appreciated in your own family. The days which turn into weeks , then latter into months and years of rejection is a very humbling experience. Those experiences, combined with divorce, death in your family and a loss of a good paying job in a bad economy would try anybody patience. But I am grateful too God that those bad experiences didn't ruin or destroy me. Instead they only made me more patient ,stronger, determine and faithful to God. Because in the end he was the only one I truly could depend on. Sometimes when we seek a parents or a persons love we forget that Gods love is everlasting. God our Father in Heaven is the best parent, best friend and his love for us last forever. He will never forsake us, never leave us and even when we sin he is always willing to forgive us. God will never make his children feel like outcast or black sheep . That's why I love him so much and grateful that he allowed me to suffer, so that I may appreciate his love and his grace. <br />
<div dir="ltr">When I was younger I used to love watching television shows like, The Cosby Show, Sanford and Son, Good Times and others, because in each of them they had very strong families values. In each of these shows these families had their share of trials, tribulations, drama and pain. In some of the shows some of the families had to over come death, drugs or other family issues. But through it all they all stuck together, never turned their back on their family members and weathered every storm together. They never forgot one very important fact, that they were family. Each of these people in their families had a unconditional love that missing in the world today. I used to envy those people in those television shows, because in each of those families, it had the type of love that was and is now missing in my own family.</div></div><div dir="ltr">When you think about the word family, many things should come to mind. You may think of the words , loving, caring, patient or supportive . In the Webster Dictionary, the definition for family,( is <span id="hotword"><span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">a</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #0055bb; cursor: pointer;">social</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">unit</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">consisting</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">of</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">one</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">or</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">more</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">adults</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">together</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">with</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">the</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">children</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">they</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">care</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">for.) But in reality in </span></span> every family there is a favorite and also there is an out cast or a black sheep. Why you may ask? Well the world we live in now, many men or women will meet someone who already has a child or like my grandmother, would say," A ready made family". Many people have the thoughts or dreams of having the perfect family, one that's full of love, support and a bond that would last for a lifetime. But in the imperfect world we live in, there will always be favorites, there will be some that get more love or attention then their brothers or sisters'. Its sad to say but our parents did have their favorites and if we are not careful as parents ,we too can carry on this very hurtful curse or tradition. That's a scar most of us outcaste or black sheep's of the family have for a life time. For some it may affect them emotionally forever. Some never get over their past hurts , their parents abuses or their parents mistakes. I have know or have known many of my friends that are still hunted by their childhood memories. In some of my friends lives their past, has hurt, stunted their growth, affected them emotionally or affected them in their current relationships and their rearing of their own children. </div><div dir="ltr"> But with the help of God , I learned from my parents mistakes, by vowing to be a better parent, by always telling the truth to my children or to the children that I am helping raise. If I happen too meet someone who already has children, I would always be careful not to deceive them. I have learned that every child has the right to know who is their real father or mother. Keeping it a secret or telling them lies to cover up a past sin, should never be an option. My advice too anyone who are dating or considering getting involved with someone who already has children. Love them like you would your own children, treat them with respect and never let them feel like an outsider or a black sheep of the family . After all they are only children and they didn't ask to be here. That's why as adults or responsible parents we have the obligation too treat all children with the love and respect due to all children. As children, most of us look up to our parents as symbols of perfection. When I visualized both my mother or my father, I looked at them as people that could do no wrong. So when I sin, made a mistake or lied, I felt shamed and embarrassed. At times when I made a mistake my parents constantly scolded me and reminded me why it was so important not to sin or lie. Now that I have grown into an adult , I wonder why my parents didn't hold themselves accountable to the same rules or beliefs that they taught me as a child. I was asked very recently, was I mad or bitter because of what I went through or because of my parents mistakes. After some careful thought, I told the person asking me, that everything I went through in my life could have taken me in many different directions. I have had my share of trials, tribulations, rejection, hurt and pain. But some how through it all I remain, humble from my experiences. I am not (Thanks to God) a person that lives in the past. Its not that I don't remember what I been through, I instead learn from it and use it as motivation to be a better person or a better man . I really feel that God allows all of us to go through different things or experience different types of situations to help us grow stronger. Now that I know that I am a child of God, I am both thankful and grateful that God chose me to go through all those situations. Why? Well from my experiences I can tell others, about my true life testimony. Maybe through my pain or suffering I can help others and in the process save a couple of souls. Maybe if people could see what Gods love and his light can do to a person considered to be an outcast or a black sheep of his own family, then through me they can witness the true glory of God. Then they too would know that Gods love,Gods light and Gods forgiveness is the best a man or a woman could get. My grandmother had a famous saying, "What's done in the dark shall come too light". Which means the truth will come to light and what have been done in the past will be revealed in the future .</div><div dir="ltr">Have a blessed day,</div><div dir="ltr">Charles</div><div dir="ltr"><span class="crossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/jeremiah/33-3.htm">Jeremiah 33:3</a></span> Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'</div><script type="text/javascript">
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</script></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8497612931654066797-2569328424968325642?l=holmes0915-what.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>holmes0915http://www.blogger.com/profile/12297519671493680652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8497612931654066797.post-60594550301688865072011-11-16T11:01:00.000-08:002011-11-16T11:01:01.556-08:002011-11-16T11:01:01.556-08:00Chapters<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style "><a class="addthis_button_preferred_1" href=""></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_2" href=""></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_3" href=""></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_4" href=""></a><a class="addthis_button_compact" href=""></a><a class="addthis_counter addthis_bubble_style" href=""></a></div><div dir="ltr"><div dir="ltr">As I think about the many years of my life, I think of them as Chapters? You may ask this question, why would one think of their years on Earth as Chapters? Well for one every year brings a new and unique experience. I have discovered that it doesn't matter how old I have become or how much I may seem to know there is always something new or someone that is unique in their own way that surprises me. As we grow older each of us experience things that we never thought would happen. As I speak for myself I never thought that I would grow old. I had this crazy notion that I would always look or be young. I also thought that everything I dreamed about becoming and everything I envision would come to pass. Many of us have those childhood dreams, saying that we may go to college, marry our high school sweethearts and live happy ever after. I thought when I got married, I thought I would be married to the woman of my dreams forever or for a lifetime. Boy was I wrong! Now divorced its just another Chapter in my life and I have moved on. I also had a dream that when I had children of my own, that they would be perfect children and I would be a perfect parent. But as you may know nothing in life is perfect but God. That is what life is really about moving on going through the good and the bad, then leaving it behind. As my late grandmother would say it ," Baby you just have to go on, but while going on use those past experiences to help shape you into a better man . She would go on to say ,"Never let those bad experiences scare or deter you ". Always stay determine and never let bad things from keeping achieving your dreams. Life is about over coming all of its obstacles. Climbing then reaching mountain topps, dreaming, then realizing your dreams. Yes life with present you with many obstacles, but if you are smart enough to avoid the ones you can avoid and handle the ones you can't, then you can do almost anything. Its just a part of life and its already written. Those who handle life as it is are the ones that become successful. But those who complain are the ones that are stuck in the same place this time next year. Learn from your failures or mistakes and become better. Then forget about those bad chapters in your life, then create good ones. Because as long as you live, you write and then create new ones. As I think about my late grandmother's very wise words, I now know that she is both wise and right. I know now ,that I can not let my past effect my future and I shouldn't allow my bad experiences to keep me from achieving my goals or from being blessed. I just have too take everyday or every year as a learning experience that will help me grow more as a man in the future. I have too keep an mind open , so that way I allow myself to learn new things and open myself up to new possibilities .(Even the things that I am not interested in) Because what I have found is that sometimes past life experiences sometimes can help me avoid trouble and it may also let me know if something or someone is good enough to pursue.</div><div dir="ltr">Throughout my life I have come to learn many things. I had to learn how to be an adult, how to be a father and also how to be a better person. In all of our lives we have things or certain situations that could help or hinder our lives. I been through a painful divorce, lost a job that paid me good money, had to move to another state, had car trouble and that's to name a few. But I didn't allow life circumstances change me. I just kept my faith, believing in God and knowing one day soon it all would be better. I never gave up, because my son depended on me and just because my life was hard I didn't want that too affect my sons life. My advice to anyone who may read this, never use your past experiences as an excuse or a reason not to succeed, but instead use them as motivation. What do I mean by this statement? Many times many of us ,use our past as reasons why we haven't remarried, found someone special to love or we use them as reasons why we haven't been successful. When in fact those reasons are only an excuse and not a real reason not too go on with your life. Yes throughout everyone's life will be many disappointments or failures. But instead of using our past experiences as reasons not to succeed, we should instead become more determine not to fail the next time. Just because something bad happen in your past it is not a reason to stop living. Look at it like God looks at your life, just another year or another Chapter in your life. If you are blessed to be still living, there is a good chance that you can or will change your life for the better. Just look at your past experiences good or bad as learning experiences. Also look at your past years as a road map to help you avoid trouble and as a guide to help you take advantage of things that may make you a success. Like my late grandmother would always say, the more you grow in knowledge, the more wise or successful you will become. As I look at my own life I live it , with this one positive thought. I survived another year with the grace of God and now that I have learned from my past failures or mistakes. What I have also learned is life itself is a leap of faith. First you walk , then you fall, then you get right up and try again. My late grandmother used to always say, its doesn't matter in life how many times you fail. What really counts is how many times you get up from your failure. She would say, Never give up and never stop trying ! And when everything you do or try fails , then lean on God for the strength and understanding. From the knowledge passed on to me from my late grandmother, parents and others, I use that knowledge or wisdom , to make the next chapters or years of my life the best ever.<br />
Have a wonderful day,<br />
Charles<br />
Ezekiel 36:25-26<br />
I will sprinkle clean water on you and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. 26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you ,your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.</div></div><script type="text/javascript">
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<span class="crossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/proverbs/28-26.htm">Proverbs 28:26</a></span> He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.</div><script type="text/javascript">
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</script></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8497612931654066797-3463113386550227922?l=holmes0915-what.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>holmes0915http://www.blogger.com/profile/12297519671493680652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8497612931654066797.post-71095982501418898432011-11-08T14:11:00.000-08:002011-11-08T14:11:53.748-08:002011-11-08T14:11:53.748-08:00What Do You Do When Your Children Turn The Other Way<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style "><a class="addthis_button_preferred_1" href=""></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_2" href=""></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_3" href=""></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_4" href=""></a><a class="addthis_button_compact" href=""></a><a class="addthis_counter addthis_bubble_style" href=""></a></div><div dir="ltr"><div dir="ltr">As I think of my early days as a father, I never really understood what it meant to be a single parent. The reason for this is because my first child( my daughter) was raised by my mother. I thank God everyday for both my mother and my father, because at that point in my life, I wasn't mature or grounded enough to be a good parent. Some of us make the simple mistake, by having a sexual relationship with someone without understanding the consequences. My father often used to preach to me and my brothers about the consequences of having unprotected sex. But as most immature young men do,I did what I thought felt good or right , without thinking about consequences for my actions. I paid the price and so did my children . Me not being there to help raise , then mold them and my children not having the opportunity to be with their real father. Being raise by their single mother, with many different male role models in their face which left them both dazed and confused. After making that of many mistakes, I vowed to myself that if God blessed me with the opportunity to have another child, I would raise him or her myself. It wasn't until latter in life that I got blessed with the opportunity to raise my son. When I first got the opportunity, it was kind of a shock and I wasn't prepared. At that time my son was ten and had been raised by his mother. But as life always does, it presents you with different challenges and opportunities when you may least expect it.</div><div dir="ltr"> </div><div dir="ltr">It was hard at first for us both, having to adjust too each other. My son having to adjust too a father that help raise him from a distance and myself, going from being a bachelor too a single parent. Even though I often prayed for the opportunity to raise my son, because I felt that I could do a good job, I really didn't know what I was getting myself into. I didn't really understand the sacrifices' that would be made raising a child. Now my many days as a single bachelor has now come to end. I laugh at it now because in my years past , I used to date single women who were parents and never really understood what they went through. Or why they were so careful not to introduce me to their children until they felt it was safe to do so . Now that I am a single parent I now understand their reasons for being so careful , because the world we live in today is so dangerous, especially for our children. There are some adults out there that would prey on our children, just as wolves would attack their prey. Its sad to say this, "But we as parents have to be careful who we leave our children with". We also have to watch , then pay attention to our surroundings and make sure our children are being raised in the proper environment. Now like the women I dated in my past , I have to screen or watch who I get involved with and I also have to be careful who I date. Because not everyone knows or understands the plight of a single parent or what we single parents have too go through while raising our children. They don't understand the pain or the sacrifices. Or even what we single parents, have to give up or what we have to stop doing while being a single parent. As a parent we are not only representing ourselves, but also our children. what most don't understand is that our time is very limited and most of our time is used to rear and care for our children. Anything else is secondary and our child or children always comes first. </div><div dir="ltr"> </div><div dir="ltr">What I have found to be amazing is the little tolerance women these days, have for a single father. You would think that women would love or embrace a man that's willing to raise, then care for his own children , but what I have found to be true is the total opposite. When I was blessed with the chance to raise my son, at this time I was married. I thought too myself, that this was the perfect situation for me and my son. My ex-wife at the time had a son of her own and I treated him like my son, in fact better. Because my son at that time never had the pleasure to wake up and see his father. But what later that both shocked and amazed me, was my ex wife. She didn't want my son to live with us and that caused problems for our marriage. I know some may think after reading this, Wow! That's kind of of selfish isn't it? I thought the same thing too. But later I realized that my ex-wife wasn't the woman God chose for me. I made that choice myself and like my late grandmother would always say," When man makes choices he always makes mistakes, but when God chooses its always right".</div><div dir="ltr">So now I am a single parent, going on seven years strong. Is it an easy job being a parent? No its not, because everyday presents a challenge. Being a parent you have to care for them while they are sick and even while they are well you have to be there to support them emotionally. You have to be there to hear their thoughts and always have to challenge your young children to use their minds to become something better or great. Being a single parent I had to realize that its not good to have a child that's overly dependent on you, because it will stunt their growth. As a parent you want them to grow up too be strong young men and independent young women. So you do your best to make sure your child or children have everything they may need to help them become a success and then they disappoint you. Some after reading this may say, Wow! After all of that your child or children has the capabilities to disappoint you or make mistakes? To that I will say yes, they are capable of doing some thing's that will amaze you. Sometimes the things they do will bring you to tears. Yes, some children; lie, steal and cheat. But the real challenge to being a parent is when your children turn into something you didn't raise them to be. After years of hard work your child or my child can turn into something ugly or into someone you don't care for. What do you do when your child or children turn the other way? What do we do when they become criminals, murderers or thieves? What do we do when our children have, then embrace lifestyles that we are uncomfortable with? What do we do when our children expect us to adjust to their lifestyle? To those who may say this will not ever happen to me and my children will be perfect . I have this to say, it is very possible that your children could grow up to be little or big monsters, if you are not careful. Even if you raise your children in a perfect way, its very possible that your children will go astray. Then you will say, " Oh God what do we when our children go astray"? Well in some cases or most all we can do is pray.</div><div dir="ltr">Have a blessed evening,</div><div dir="ltr">Charles</div><div dir="ltr"><span class="crossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/psalms/78-4.htm">Psalm 78:4</a></span> We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done.</div></div><script type="text/javascript">
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</script></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8497612931654066797-7109598250141889843?l=holmes0915-what.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>holmes0915http://www.blogger.com/profile/12297519671493680652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8497612931654066797.post-13805782455452831842011-11-01T11:56:00.000-07:002011-11-04T11:12:12.071-07:002011-11-04T11:12:12.071-07:00When Two Become One<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style "><a class="addthis_button_preferred_1" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_2" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_3" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_4" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_compact" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_counter addthis_bubble_style" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a></div><div dir="ltr"><div dir="ltr">There is an old saying in church, "Two unequally yoked people can't make a marriage work". Another saying is, If chose to you marry then marry someone that is your equal or someone that brings something too the table. In other words, if the person you are seeking to marry has nothing to offer you or has nothing to offer the marriage then you should think about it very carefully. But a saying that I really loves comes from my late grandmother( Latisha Raby). She would say," When one enters into a marriage, they can't go into it thinking selfishly, because it takes two to make it and when you marry too become one". In other words the person you were before the marriage has to change. When I asked her to explain this statement too me she would say," Son people of the world and even some in the church don't know or even understand the word or the meaning of marriage . When people in the church talk, they talk about being equally yoked and when people of the world talk, they always talk about bring something too the table, like money or careers. What these people don't realize is that none of that matters and those sayings have little effect on a marriage. Being equally yoke or having a man or woman with something to offer the other, doesn't guarantee marriage survival. She would go on to say ," Baby it takes more than that and the people that are thinking about marriage or even those that are in marriage need to figure out how to become one, before thinking about being the one". What my grandmother meant was, when people get married they become the combination of two different lifestyles, cultures or two different of ways of living. Both the man or the woman will have different views on life, religion and family. Where the problem comes is when the two have to change their ways in order to become one . There are a lot of people that want to marry, but many don't want to make the necessary changes to make the marriage work. Some people don't want to give up who they were before they become married. What I found is in women, which is a very disturbing trend that most women these days, don't even want to change their last names. It used to be in years past that it was an honor to take a mans last name. But now in today's society, women want the man to either embrace their last name or compromise, our fore fathers principles . Also I don't think that most Preachers, Pastors or Priest teach their followers or believers that marriage is a covenant between man and God.</div><div dir="ltr"> In the Bible it speaks about forsaking your parents in order to make the marriage work. I am going to take this a little step further, by saying in some cases some may also have to forsake their friends in order to make the marriage work. Why would I make this statement? Well I have known many of friends that have destroyed many of marriages'. Sometimes having a noisy friend that is either unhappy with their spouse or having a friend that is single with no spouse of their own can harm a marriage. The old saying is misery loves company. If you lived long enough you would know their are people out there,(Even our friends or family) that are not happy unless someone else shares their own plight. <span class="status_txt">As I gather my thoughts I can't help but too think about my wise late grandmothers famous sayings or words. The things we want the most(Love, family or success) are the things we tend to want now or rush into. If we used our brains or the minds that God has blessed us with, then we would know the things we want now take time and require patients . Nothing in life that is of value should be rushed. It should be carefully planned and prayed on too have the blessing from God. Because if its rushed then it will fail, but if you have patients then you will soon realize that good things really come to those who wait</span></div><div dir="ltr">A lot of single men or women have lifestyles that would crush any marriage. There are a lot of habits many of us have that can harm a marriage that should be done away with before the marriage begins.( Like clubbing, staying out late, doing drugs,over drinking, gambling and having many sexual affairs). The basic fact is that some men or women never grow up and refuse to change. To those who don't realize it, I have this to say, Even though you might not want to grow older, you will and don't have a choice when it comes to ageing. The simple fact we all must realize when seeking a spouse or mate, is that we all have something's in our past or in our current situation that we need to stop in order to make the relationship or marriage grow. I know some that may read this may say, Well he or she met me this way, why should I have to change? Or others may say I have been this way most of my life and its impossible to change. To those who may feel this way, I say if you love, honor and obey God then you should change. For even when it comes to being saved one must forsake or give up the ways of the world in order to go to Heaven. For it is written those who love the world, hate God and will have no place in Heaven. So even becoming one with Christ requires change. God made men and women different from all of his creations. We were made in his image and design for a special purpose. <span class="status_txt">Why did God create both man and woman? Malachi 2:15 Has not [the LORD] made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. Simply put God created both man and woman to become one, to create life, family and to become something great. Great men or women always have a great man or woman helping them achieve their success. After all when two loving , God fearing people put aside their differences and concentrate on making their marriage work, great things happen. The husband or the wife may get a promotion at the job or either of them may graduate from college and get the job he or she dreamed about. The fact is God blesses married people who follow his commands. When two loving people support each other, trust each other, then care for each other then marriage becomes a success. Like the old saying two heads is better than one and united we stand , but divided we fall. When two people love God then themselves, God gets the glory and the marriage gets the blessing. When two people get together and have a successful marriage that has been blessed by God. A true believer of God knows, that if you put your love and trust in him, then good things will be added to the marriage. Even if a couple face problems that we all face while living on Earth, they must understand that if God is in the mist of their marriage, then all problems can be fixed or solved. When you see or hear of people that have been married for forty or fifty years plus. Then you will know, that is what happens when two become one.</span></div><div dir="ltr"><span class="status_txt">Have a blessed day,</span></div><div dir="ltr"><span class="status_txt">Charles</span></div><div dir="ltr"><span class="status_txt"><div dir="ltr"> </div><div dir="ltr"><span class="ecxcrossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/ephesians/5-25.htm" target="_blank">Ephesians 5:25</a></span> Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her <hr color="#bbe0ff" size="1" /><span class="ecxcrossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/ephesians/5-28.htm" target="_blank">Ephesians 5:28</a></span> In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. <hr color="#bbe0ff" size="1" /><span class="ecxcrossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/ephesians/5-33.htm" target="_blank">Ephesians 5:33</a></span> However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.</div></span></div><script type="text/javascript">
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</script></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8497612931654066797-2812471212223415572?l=holmes0915-what.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>holmes0915http://www.blogger.com/profile/12297519671493680652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8497612931654066797.post-8934705396605157232011-10-21T11:23:00.001-07:002011-10-21T11:23:26.465-07:002011-10-21T11:23:26.465-07:00The Role Of A Man Or Woman<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style "><a class="addthis_button_preferred_1" href=""></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_2" href=""></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_3" href=""></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_4" href=""></a><a class="addthis_button_compact" href=""></a><a class="addthis_counter addthis_bubble_style" href=""></a></div><div dir="ltr">A friend of mine was having problems with both her husband and her son. She couldn't get any of them to go to work or to do anything around the house. Being that I am curious by nature I asked her did she spoil the men in her life. She answered me with a big smile by saying, that she was the bread winner, she cooked, cleaned and provided for all their needs. She bragged about how much she achieved and on how she didn't really, at that time need a man to support her or help take care of her needs. But now after all those years of being the both the provider and protector of the family, she was now tired. Therefore, wanted her men in her life to take on the load. She said to me Charles, I am tired but I can't get my men too help me. Tell me what can I do to get my men too act like men? To the women that are blessed enough to read this I have some sound advice. Treat your men like children and they will in turn act like children. But if you treat them like men then they will be men. In short empower your man or the men in your life. What do I mean by empower? Well by nature men were created by God to be strong. Men for thousand of years were both providers and protectors of the family. Now that there is a new age and women can now fend, protect and provide for themselves .Now what was once the staple of the man has been taken away, by the advances of women. In some cases that has weakened the man, because now some men don't feel needed or wanted and now some have become dependent. For those who have husbands or sons, you may ask how do I reverse the cycle and make them act like men? The easy answer is to tell them you need them and let them become an active part of your life. This advice is even for the women who happen to make more money than their husbands. A man feels real good when he is empowered or needed. It gives a man confidence to know that his family or spouse needs him, so provide him a role that you both can feel comfortable with. This reminds me of something my late grandmother would always say," Oh how good it feels to be both needed or wanted". When a man looses his confidence, he in facts looses his soul. Its like a caged Lion that was once in the wild a great hunter. But now that you have caged him you took away his ability to hunt and now he has becomes helpless. Men since the beginning of time were made to be the head of the household and were created to be strong. If you take away a mans strength then he becomes a shell of a man and something else. That is not what God meant or intended when he created man. I know some women that may read this may take issue with what I just wrote. Some of you may say time has changed and its the time of the woman. My question to those who may question my thoughts is, "Do you really believe God is satisfied with the reverse roles of the man or the woman of today"? In the beginning of time God very first creation besides the animals was man and he created woman for man to be one . <span class="ecxcrossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/malachi/2-15.htm" target="_blank">Malachi 2:15</a></span> Has not [the LORD] made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. Gods word is Gods word and who has the right to question his wisdom? After all God did create both the man and the woman.<span class="ecxcrossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/genesis/1-27.htm" target="_blank"> Genesi</a></span>s<span class="ecxcrossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/genesis/1-27.htm" target="_blank"> 1:27</a></span> So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Both the man and the woman have their roles when it comes to a relationship or family. Just because one happens to make more than the other doesn't mean those roles should change or be in reverse.</div><div dir="ltr">Have a blessed day,</div><div dir="ltr">Charles</div><script type="text/javascript">
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</script></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8497612931654066797-893470539660515723?l=holmes0915-what.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>holmes0915http://www.blogger.com/profile/12297519671493680652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8497612931654066797.post-18153246309897492342011-10-07T10:31:00.001-07:002011-10-07T19:55:32.175-07:002011-10-07T19:55:32.175-07:00Take God With You<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style "><a class="addthis_button_preferred_1" href="about:blank"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_2" href="about:blank"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_3" href="about:blank"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_4" href="about:blank"></a><a class="addthis_button_compact" href="about:blank"></a><a class="addthis_counter addthis_bubble_style" href="about:blank"></a></div><div dir="ltr"><div dir="ltr">Today a friend of mine asked me this question, Charles how can I deal with my fall? When she asked me this question she caught me by surprise and I asked her what did she mean by this statement? Then she proceeded to tell me about her fall from grace. To further explain this, my friend at one point of her life had a high position at her job and got laid off. Now her income and her way of life has changed. Because of it, her ability to pay or buy the things she needed to survive has become limited. She began to cry, then say Charles I have lost my way! My confidence, my swagger and my ability to cope is now gone away. Then I looked at her and said, you are still relevant in Gods eyes and this is only a test. To those that are blessed enough to read this, I have some advice. While we are blessed enough to live here on Earth , all of us will have our own share of trials and tribulations. There will be many storms or dangers to face along the way. But what we do or how we handle those situations, will determine what type of men or women we will be. My father had a famous saying,which happens to be a song by Isaac Hayes's, (Only The strong survive) .Which in Gods words, if you draw strength form the one that has created all things, then great things will happen. If you happen to fall from grace or from the top of the mountain, get back up, then climb it again. For if you had it once you can and shall have it again. But this time on your climb back up the mountain take something with you that you didn't have with you before. What you may ask? Well next time you decided to make a climb or take a chance with your life, don't forget about God. Make him the reason for your climb and when you reach the top thank him for your success. Because without God your rise to the top will be short lived, but with him it will last a life time. So take God with you everyday and live your life to please God. Because if you live your life to please man or others your trip to the top will be short lived.</div><div dir="ltr">Have a blessed day,</div><div dir="ltr">Charles</div><div dir="ltr"></div><div dir="ltr"><span class="ecxcrossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/psalms/94-14.htm" target="_blank">Psalm 94:14</a></span> For the LORD will not reject his people; he will never forsake his inheritance.</div><div dir="ltr"><span class="ecxcrossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/psalms/143-7.htm" target="_blank">Psalm 143:7</a></span> Answer me quickly, O LORD; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit.</div></div><script type="text/javascript">
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<div dir="ltr"><div dir="ltr"><div dir="ltr"> I have been asked this very truthful question by a friend of mine, How do I get over hurt feelings , emotions' or pain ? She would say, how can I go on when I feel so much pain? This particular friend of mine had a son, that was always in trouble. He stole from her, wreaked her cars, destroyed certain parts of her home, was on drugs, was in trouble with the law and even had the nerves to abuse his own mother. She would say to me , "Charles I have been through so much with him; he stole my life and I hate him"! She had tears in her eyes and from her appearance alone I knew that she was tired .Then she went on to say Charles i am so tired of being lied too, hurt and deceived. Tell me where do I get the strength to over come it all? After she got through telling me about her pain and troubles, I had to think of a way to properly answer her question. A lot of us who have been , wronged, hurt, lied too, deceived or abused , don't realize that if we don't deal with our emotional issues of our past or present , then its impossible to progress , reach our full potential or even function in the outside world. As a man growing in the Lord I had to realize this fact for myself. I to had deal with some emotional issues of my own. I think back as a child when I was abused by both of my parents, I think about how much I hated them. From their abuse I harbored a lot of pain and hate. I resented my parents and didn't want anything to do with them. I felt like the black sheep of the family, because nothing I did was right in their eyes. Therefore when I became an adult, I stayed away from them. But what I didn't realize is that I was only hurting myself, because I didn't allow myself to heal and forgive them. What I didn't realize that I wasn't a perfect child and it was hard back then raising six children. Now it didn't excuse their abuse, but it did make me realize the pressure both of my parents were under raising six children all with different personalities and different problems .</div><div dir="ltr"> Now that I am raising my own children I under stand the pressure's of being a parent. Understanding all of this made me realize something. If I couldn't over come my past hurt or demons, then I couldn't or wouldn't become successful or happy in life. Why you may ask? Well the answer to that is quite simple, It takes a lot of entergy to hate. Believe this or not hating someone is not healthy for your soul and its stressful. Also hating someone can be a huge distraction in your life, because hating someone takes a lot of time and energy. You have to work hard to hate and evil thoughts, bring criminal or evil ways and the devil is always in the mist of hate. Someone who hates, despises and always plots things to hurt the people they hate. But back to the main question, How do you or I get over hurt feelings, emotions or pain? The easy answer if by turning them over to God. Now some may read this and say its not that easy. Well to those people I would say, you are right its not that simple. First you have ask God to forgiveness and then you have learn how to forgive yourself. A lot of us punish ourselves when we have been lied to hurt or deceived. The reason for this is because some of us believe the reasons we became victims is because of our own weakness and that's simply not true. What we must realize is life, is only a test and the more we learn, the better we become. So stop stressing and stop living in the past. Live for today, because tomorrow is not promised. If you do these things with the grace of our Father in Heaven you shall and will over come it all.</div><div dir="ltr">Have a blessed evening,</div><div dir="ltr">Charles</div><div dir="ltr"><span class="ecxcrossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/psalms/79-9.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: #0068cf;">Psalm 79:9</span></a></span> Help us, O God our Savior, for the glory of your name; deliver us and forgive our sins for your name's sake.</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8497612931654066797-4140601058044390772?l=holmes0915-what.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>holmes0915http://www.blogger.com/profile/12297519671493680652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8497612931654066797.post-45775365074737821492011-08-14T13:04:00.000-07:002011-08-24T15:46:12.852-07:002011-08-24T15:46:12.852-07:00The Complicated Thing Called Love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span><iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=holmes0915&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B0026PEB7A&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe></span>Of all the things on this planet called Earth, love happens to be the most complicated subject to figure out. Since the beginning of time, both men and women have constantly asked themselves a series of questions like; What is it that men or women really want? Why are men or women so difficult or so hard to get alone with ? Why are men or women so moody? Why can't men or women stay loyal? Or where are all of the good men or women? Where is the man or woman that God has created especially for me? Where is my soul mate? Or the main question that we all ask is why is love so complicated? Why does love have to hurt or cause me pain? These are just some of the questions most people ask while being in love. If you ever been in love and thought hard about it, you will realize that love is a very powerful thing. Love is so powerful it can make both men or women do things that they never thought they would do. Love can make us all go to extensive lengths just to acquire true love. Both men or women would pay just for a chance at finding true love. Many have been known to change religions, leave their family or friends, even quit their jobs for a chance at true love. The power of love is so great, that many men or women would travel to the ends of the Earth just to find love. That is why millions of people world wide are searching for the soul mates over the Internet,through personnel websites and social networks. Even the most powerful, wealthy men and women have a hard time finding true love. Even in prayer most would ask God himself to send them a man or woman that will love them for a lifetime. That is why when relationships or marriages fails it very heartbreaking .So heartbreaking that it crushes the spirit and make most decide to just give up on love. I have also heard both men and women say these very words, Maybe I am meant to be alone or maybe God does not want me to marry or to be happy. To those people I have one thing to say, God loves you and he wants you to be happy. God has created a special someone for each of his creations. But the main question that most people are afraid to ask is, "Why is true love so hard to find" or where or who is my soul mate ? After some careful study , a lot of reading, research and experience of my own, I think I have found out the reason why people have a hard time finding true love.<br />
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One of the reason why most men or women have a hard time coming together or finding their soul mates is because of the existing barriers, that both men or women have put between each other. In some cases some may think that their spouse has to be a certain race, size or religion to qualify to be their mate. Also both men and women need to do allot of soul searching, then look into the mirror. Because most people do not realize that when it comes to dating or love they do not have a clue,not even Christian's.<br />
<div closure_uid_xr7mer="94">In most cases both men and women do not really know their roles or what God expects from them when it comes to love. One of the main reasons that I have found is first men and women have to Understand their roles before looking for a spouse or mate. Men have to know what God expects from them before they seek a wife and women have to know what's expected of them before they enter into a relationship or marriage. Another thing that I have found to be true especially from men, is that most do not know what to look for when seeking a mate. In the old days men often looked for women that resemble their mothers , but in today's time both men and women are influence by the media and television. I was once told by a very wise woman, that in order to find the perfect mate, you must first become the perfect match for what you seek. In other words before you can say you want a good man or woman, you have to be what you seek. God never intended on man or woman being alone, that is the main reason God created Adam and latter created Eve. But the question of today is why is it that both men and women have a hard time finding, then keeping their soul mates? The reason I have found is because in some cases men or women do not know or appreciate their spouses worth. For those who may question what I just wrote or have a hard understanding , what I mean by this last statement I have a couple of questions to ask you. (1) Your spouse or the person you are dating, what do they really mean to you? (2) Are you willing to make the necessary sacrifices to make the relationship or marriage work? (3) Don't you realize that the person you are dating or married to is a direct reflection of yourself? These three questions can not be answered with just a plain yes. These are questions that take some deep thinking. But in simple terms the person you are married to, the man or woman you love, should be a part of you. Which means to me is, when they cry, you cry, when they hurt ,you hurt when something bothers them, it should also bother you . The person you love, should be loved just as you would love yourself. That is why my mother always used to say, "If you have no love for yourself, there is no way you should be in position to love someone else". "Because if you do not love yourself or care about your own needs, then how can you be qualified to care for someone else?Love wouldn't be that complicated if we first learned how to love ourselves. And for those who do love themselves I have this to say, what ever you do for yourself, should be good enough for your spouse or mate. Give your husband or wife the same treatment or respect that you would expect from others. Love has no place for people that are selfish , overbearing, dominate or cruel. Like my mother used to always say treat people the way you want to be treated and love the one you would love as you would love yourself. Remember who ever you give your heart to, is a part of you and if you love them its not really that complicated. Love them for who they are, forgive them as you would expect them to forgive you and always remember this God first created man, then out of all of God creations, God took man , then created something new woman. Woman was created for man. When I think about this past statement, I just say wow! God loved man so much that he created something just for him. Men ask yourself this question, is there anything else in the world more beautiful then a woman? I think you will find out of all of God creations man was Gods favorite, why do you think he has given us so many chances? God loves us and we should love, then honor him always. We should all start as men or women, loving, respecting , then treating each other like Kings or Queens, because that is who we are. We are heirs to the throne and we all need to start acting like it.</div>Have a blessed Sunday,<br />
Charles<br />
1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8497612931654066797-4577536507473782149?l=holmes0915-what.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>holmes0915http://www.blogger.com/profile/12297519671493680652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8497612931654066797.post-53434459178489613452011-08-12T19:03:00.000-07:002011-08-12T19:03:16.231-07:002011-08-12T19:03:16.231-07:00Our Time<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span><iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=holmes0915&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B002FQ2NXY&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe></span><div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style "><a class="addthis_button_preferred_1" href=""></a> <a class="addthis_button_preferred_2" href=""></a> <a class="addthis_button_preferred_3" href=""></a> <a class="addthis_button_preferred_4" href=""></a> <a class="addthis_button_compact" href=""></a> <a class="addthis_counter addthis_bubble_style" href=""></a> </div><script type="text/javascript">
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<div closure_uid_4b1a5b="113">Life is real funny and has it ways of changing most of our lives either for the best or for the worse. But even though life present us with many changes there will always be hope . Because God our Father in Heaven is always there to bless us each and everyday. Everyday, most of us are either working, trying to raise our children and paying those monthly bills. Sometimes it gets hard because, it becomes a routine and life becomes boring. Some may ask themselves these question's," Why did God create us"? Why does he love us so much? Those questions can only be answered by God himself. Being that our time here on Earth is so limited and we will all make many mistakes. Its makes one wonder why God still puts up with us(Because of our lack of respect or faith in him). Most of us do not really realize, how powerful or Father in Heaven really is. If we use some common sense then we would realize that God has all power in his hands and that he is in control or still perform miracles' . From looking at the news you can see that God still has and effect on the world we live in. He has the power to make a rich man poor and in the very next day make a poor man rich. He has the power to change the weather despite the seasons, he makes what we say impossible , possible and create miracles' out of things we wouldn't think possible. That is why we all should heed Gods warnings, because he will not lead any of us blind or astray . Before we do or get into anything that may cost us time or our life, God will always warn you and I of the consequences. Like my father has always said for every action, there is an equal reaction. He would also say there is a consequence for every action, for the good and the bad. An example of this is; when you get married, have children or even get a job, there is a consequence for these actions, because that's where the real the work begins. Getting married, having children and even getting a job is the easy part, but keeping your husband or wife, raising your children properly and keeping,then advancing at your career is the hard part. Because with the happiness, of getting all these things, sorrow, trials, tribulations and challenges will follow. The devil will do anything to destroy the good in peoples lives. Like my father would say," This is where the strong survives, the weak fail,and this is where the cream rises to the top". Having survived all of these challenges', will tell who has the strength , the will and the faith of God to have a successful marriages that last a lifetime; Who has the wisdom and faith to raise children into productive and respectful men and women; Who has the courage,faith, trust, knowledge and love of God to have a successful career. If we all value our time, our precious time or moments on Earth, then we all would be wise to heed Gods words or warnings. For he will not lead any of his children blind and if we have trust in him, then have faith, our time on Earth will be well spent. If we all remain patient, and let God be the true head of our life, then anything we get into will become a success and all who do so will be blessed. All we have to do, is trust him, that no matter the problems we may face or what may trouble our heart, not too worry we may face,trails or tribulations. As a believer we must know that our Father in Heaven has it all under control. God has all power in his hand and his plan for us is perfect. Just pray that your time, our time here on Earth will be both a blessing and a success. Look for his advice, by praying, then reading the bible and going to church where you can be spiritually fed. Doing those things will help improve your life and give you a better understanding on what God expects from you . It doesn't matter what situation you may face because God can guide you . Just because you have failed many times and lost many battles in your life, does not mean its over.Because with God in your life you will win the war and turn your failures into a success. Why does God love us so much? We its because we all were created in his image and we were meant to rule over all his creations. He values successful marriages and hates divorced. He loves patient and humble parents that raise productive citizens and he enjoys our successes ,because it gives him glory, as we have been blessed. If we value our time , then we need to live it wisely, by first confiding in God and remain faithful to his words. Then our time here will both a blessing to us, but will also lift a curse off our children for future generations' to come.</div>Have a blessed day,<br />
<div closure_uid_4b1a5b="114">Charles</div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8497612931654066797-5343445917848961345?l=holmes0915-what.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>holmes0915http://www.blogger.com/profile/12297519671493680652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8497612931654066797.post-85853604258935322842011-08-10T12:42:00.000-07:002011-08-10T12:42:09.521-07:002011-08-10T12:42:09.521-07:00Sticks And Stones<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span><iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=holmes0915&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B001A50T4G&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe></span><em>As I think back on my child hood memories, I often think back on the games we played as children. Some of the games we played were innocent , but others at times could be very mean. The games we played that were mean, were the ones when we talked about our parents or when we talked about our other classmates or friends. At that time it was called playing the dozen. I laugh at it now, but growing up in my time you had to have some very tuff skin,because we would talk about each others mothers , fathers and would talk about each other so bad that we would often argue or fight. But back then talking about each other or poking fun at each other was just a game and we really didn't mean any harm. These are some of the words we would say to each other if we couldn't come up with something clever to blow back or express ourselves ." Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words could never hurt me". Back then it was all fun, but once my mother found out about it, my siblings and I were severely punished. She would say Chucky! Stop being so mean to your sisters' and brothers! If you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all! Like children always do, we often got each other in trouble. We would act like we were crying or hurt just to get the other one punished. But now that I am grown up, I began to realize in the outside word that you can't play the games children play and people take what you say seriously. Even when I am angry I take time to think about what I am going to say before I say it. Like my father would always say, "Think son before you react. Because once you said something or expressed yourself, it could never be undone. After all son its been said that calmer heads prevail. I had to learn the hard way that just because someone says something mean to you or says something that may be untrue and lie. That if a person act out their feelings while being angry no one wins, but the devil. </em><br />
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<em>In the world we live in there is so much, anger, depression. stress and suffering ,that is when most of us have been guilty of saying some very harsh words. Words spoken out of anger can leave a lasting impression, that could hurt feelings, cause mental stress; break up friendships, relationships and marriages. These words we speak when feeling all these emotions are not very thought out and are said when we are not thinking correctly or with a sound mind. After the damage has been done and we realize what we have done, then most of us try to make up for ,it by asking for forgiveness, saying we are sorry or even trying to explain ,why those harmful words were spoken. But we all must realize is that once you say something, you could never take it back and the power of a spoken word can either help someone or they can harm someone. That why we all have to be very careful before we speak, because some people can't handle that type of language emotionally .Also what all of us must realize is that no one could know what's going on in another persons home. What I mean by this is, they could be having a hard time with their mother,father, children, husband or wife. They could also be behind on their bills or out of work. These are just some of the things that stress people out everyday, that can cause many to snap, then cause them to do things they wouldn't ordinary do. If you find yourself feeling angry, depressed or stressed out, take a step back and think about it, before you open your mouth. Ask God for the proper words to get your point across and say something useful, instead of something you may have to apologize for latter or feel guilty. Because its not what you say, its how you say it, that makes a big difference when you are trying to get your point across. For those with anger issues I offer this prayer ", God I am angry, I need your strength and wisdom so I can say something constructive and positive to fix this situation". I know Lord with your wisdom you can and will help me resolve this issue, in a christian way '. So guide me oh Lord, instruct me in the right way , so that this conversation will be a blessing for the both of us and you will get the glory in Jesus name . Amen.</em><br />
<em>Have a blessed week,</em><br />
<em>Charles</em></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8497612931654066797-8585360425893532284?l=holmes0915-what.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>holmes0915http://www.blogger.com/profile/12297519671493680652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8497612931654066797.post-35263636704042806262011-08-08T12:09:00.000-07:002011-08-08T15:23:51.624-07:002011-08-08T15:23:51.624-07:00Misery Loves Company<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style "><a class="addthis_button_preferred_1" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_2" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_3" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_4" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_compact" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_counter addthis_bubble_style" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a></div><div id="text"><div closure_uid_6wzfvz="112"><div id="text"><div closure_uid_6wzfvz="112"><div closure_uid_plytk9="94"><div closure_uid_drfk9k="94"><iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=holmes0915&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0310807956&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>You every wonder why people are only happy when you are down or depressed? They seem to only want to be around you when you are not happy or when you have no one good in you life(Like a spouse or a mate). The more successful you become , the more unhappy, envious or jealous they become. People seem to really hate it when your life starts to improve and when you start becoming successful.(That is what I called being blessed or when you have favor from God). There is a lot of jealousy and envy going around in the world. There are also people who hate it when you are happy and can not stand it if you find yourself a good man or a good woman, even if they already have one.(That's because they are unhappy with their spouses or mates) There are even some people in your own family that have doubts about your dreams and will say anything to keep you from achieving it. Instead of being there to support your dreams, they are there to tear it down. These people will make statements like he or she is no good for you or they may say you are not good enough to have a man or a woman like that. Then there are other statements like how do you know if you can make it in that city, state or country, you have a hard enough time making it here? Where your family members and friends should be positive ,they are negative and it makes you wonder why do the hate me for trying to be a success? Why do people say negative things and do their best to wreak your dreams, hopes or desires? Why do people make it their business to break up happy marriages or relationships? Why do people spread rumors or lies and bring up your past life in order to wreak your future ? Well the answer to all those questions, is because misery loves company and because some people are only happy, if you are unhappy. Some of these people have miserable lives and therefore they feel left out . They feel if anyone around them gets a blessing from God, that God will not bless them too. Instead of seeking God and asking him for a blessing or direction, they instead take the way of the Devil or the world , then become negative and hate. But it will only back fire if you are a man or woman of God, because what God has for you is for you. No man or woman can keep you from achieving or reaching your goals or keep you from being happy. If you first put your trust, faith and belief only in him. Because Gods plan for you and I ,is perfect, if we acknowledge him and have faith, then all of our dreams or desires will come to past. So the next time someone invites misery into your life, say to them," devil you are a liar! What God has for me is for me and I shall <span style="background-color: yellow;">recieve </span> the blessings that God has for me, in Jesus name!</div></div></div><div>Have a blessed night,</div><div closure_uid_6wzfvz="116">Charles</div><div closure_uid_6wzfvz="116"><span class="crossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/psalms/138-7.htm">Psalm 138:7</a></span> Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me.</div></div></div></div><script type="text/javascript">
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What most of us do after we have been hurt , is put up walls , because we are afraid of being hurt. Most of us understand that living in this world by ourselves, is a very lonely thing to do. But out of the fear of starting over with someone new , we tend to put ourselves in our own trap by thinking its okay to be alone. Even some of us very strong Christian's realize that having God in our lives is just a part of living and he never intended on us being alone. That's why when he created Adam, very soon after that he created Eve. In other scriptures he also says that he will never leave us, which one can take from that is that he always intended on his creations having a loving relationship with him and others. But, what most of us do after a bad relationship or divorce, we put up walls. Most of us walk around with our hearts in a box, afraid to let anyone in , because of the fear of being hurt. Then some of us fall for the gossip and believe the rumors, then believe statements like; All men are alike and there are no good men; All the good men or either married or in jail; Most women are gold diggers; All a woman really wants is a man with money or a man that drives a nice car; Women are looking for the next meal ticket and can not be trusted; Women really do not want a good man and if they had one the would not know what to do with one; All men are dogs and most men only want sex. These are just some of the rumors that are out there that keep people from moving on with their lives after being hurt. There is so much negativity out there it can scare even the strongest person. It seems like everyone out there has forgotten one main fact, that God says everything and everyone he has created is good. God did not stop creating good people or good things and he certainly did not stop with you. Why would I make this statement? Well most people feel the only good people left is themselves. To me that sounds so funny and it is not very smart. Its that attitude that keeps people from finding their soul mate or keep them from being blessed. As soon as they realize that fact then they can move on, then find Misses Right or Mister Right.</div><div>If you are able to tear down the walls that divide you and your potential spouse, then you will be able to love again. But before trying to start a new relationship everyone needs to deal with their issues of their past. Ask God to remove those fears and to ask him for the strength to believe his word that for every man there is a good woman. If you put God at the head of your life then you will realize that he will provide for you and will not lead you wrong. He will give you what you seek a good man or woman that you can love, trust and someone that will never leave you. But before you can do that you have to ask God to remove or tear down those walls of fear, hurt, pain, tears and mistrust. Sometimes when we pray, God answers it and bless us with something good or someone wonderful. But as humans we even question, if its good for us or if that good thing comes from God. The question God has for you is,"Do you have faith in him or do you believe that he answer prayers or keeps his promises? Even though you may feel unworthy of your blessings, God never stopped loving you and he always answers prayers. Life can be hard sometimes because we , allow ourselves to become stuck in situations that may last years or even a lifetime. These situations can be working at a job <span id="yiv1755865353misspell-0">that's</span> <span id="yiv1755865353misspell-1" style="right: auto;"><span id="yui_3_2_0_20_131257719370550" style="right: auto;">stressful</span></span>, with no <span id="yiv1755865353misspell-2">opportunity</span> to <span id="yiv1755865353misspell-3">advance or being in a very bad relationship that has no future or blessing <span id="yiv1755865353misspell-0">from</span> God. In these cases most turn to family or <span id="yiv1755865353misspell-0">friends</span>. But the only true way to be free of yourself from burdens or problems is by letting go and allowing God enter in your life.</span> Free yourself and your life by trusting God ,who has power to heal, then start your life all over again. Trust God with your future and break yourself out of your self imposed prison. Open up your box and free your heart, then yourself to love and trust again. Even though nothing is too hard for our Father in Heaven, remember this. God will not bless a person with a close mind or someone with a heart that refuses to love or forgive. So please tear down your walls! Because God our Father in Heaven has a bright future for you to enjoy!</div><div>Have a blessed Wednesday,</div><div>Charles</div><div>Proverbs 3:5-6</div><div>Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.</div></div><script type="text/javascript">
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<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style "><a class="addthis_button_preferred_1" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_2" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_3" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_4" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_compact" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_counter addthis_bubble_style" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a></div><div dir="ltr"><div dir="ltr">I found its very easy to think about my past failures and hard to acknowledge or remember my success. As I have grown older I sometimes reflect or focusing on the negative aspects of my life and forgetting about the positive parts. I think its only human to think about the bad and easy to forget the good. That is in a way human beings biggest down falls, is that we tend to remember or hold on to bad memories. What I have learned from both my mother and father is life can't be learned or judged in parts, but only as a whole. As my father would put it or say, "Son never read or hear half of the story be patient , then see it through". This brings me back to my past relationship memories which I can say, most of them bad and some of them good. But as life would have it most of the time I tend to think about the negative ones or talk about the bad ones. But now that I have matured I wonder to myself about the good ones or the good relationships. We all have had them ( a good man or a good woman)if we really admit it too ourselves, but for some strange reason it didn't work out. I know in my life I have had one or two women in my life that were truly good too me and good for me. But if I am honest too myself I must admit that the timing was all wrong. When I think back on those two relationships I remember how those particular people really fit me and seemed perfect for me. Me being young , immature and I must admit a little stupid. I didn't realize how blessed I was to be in a company of a good woman. I think as men, when we think back on our past mistakes, we often try to make up for it when we get older or wiser. But as fate would have it when you try being good to a bad or unappreciative woman it will never work out. If you are reading this and happen to be a woman , you might ask me what made those two women so special or unique? Well what made those women unique from all the others that I have dated (In my past as well as the present) were that they were the type of woman that not only looked out for you , but also had your best interest in mind and they really cared. In today's world that is a very rare commodity, because most men and women are selfish therefore they only thought about themselves. Those two women were very unselfish, caring, loving, kind , considerate and God fearing. Out of the two there is one I will never forget, because she was uniquely special. Just in case she happens to be reading my journal, I give a false name, so I can give you the real reason I still feel this way her to this very day.<br />
<div closure_uid_jdaudi="104">From the very first day I met her I knew something was different about her . She was beautiful, well kept, dressed nice, smelled good, classy and had a glow that it will be hard for me to explain, on paper, but I'll do my best to give her justice. She had the look that said I could take her home to my mother and seeing her gave me the thought that this woman could be my future wife.(If you are a man then you would understand where I am coming from) To the ladies that are reading this in every mans eyes there is a certain woman that fits him or makes him feel that she is the one for him. All men have certain images or looks in that they perceive are wife material. That is why I believe in my heart that God created for each man a woman and each woman is a mans rib or help mate. But other than the normal stuff that men look for when seeking a mate this woman had that special something I would never forget. What was this special thing or gift that she possessed ? Well she had the ability to look inside me or as my late grandmother would say, she could look into my soul. The reason why I felt this way about her, was because at the time I had a very strained relationship with my parents. Crystal and I were only dating for four months, but were getting real close. One day after work she asked me when was I going to visit my parents. I responded to her by saying never! They don't care if I live or die so why should I visit them? Then she looked at me with those beautiful eyes of hers and said," Because they are a part of you and besides that you are missing something I could never give you. I gave Crystal a very puzzled look and said, " What are you talking about Crystal? Then she explained that every man or every woman has a special link to their parents, even those that has foster parents. She went on to say by your blood you will always be linked to your parents and just because you have some unpleasant feelings for them you should never let that get in the way of being around your family. Even after hearing her explain to me why family was so important, I remain stubborn and refused to go. But Crystal refused to give up, she wrapped her arms and legs around me, then said I will not let you go until you let go of your anger and besides if you can't love your family, how is it possible to love me? As I think back on those moments, I realized that she was right. I gave in, then went and visited my parents. Thanks too her I have a relationship with my parents and I owe it all to her. Its just too bad that when she met me that I wasn't mature and not ready to settle down with a good woman. But as the old saying goes, You never miss your water until your well runs dry. Even to this day I have never met or even seen a woman that comes close to Crystal. To those who are blessed enough to read my true life story, if God has blessed you with the opportunity to be in the company of a good man or woman , hold on to them and never let go. Because if you let them go you may never get that opportunity again.</div></div><div dir="ltr">May God bless you always,</div><div closure_uid_5c11fc="109" dir="ltr">Charles</div><div closure_uid_5c11fc="109" dir="ltr"><span class="crossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/proverbs/31-10.htm">Proverbs 31:10</a></span> A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.</div></div><script type="text/javascript">
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Have a blessed night,<br />
Charles<br />
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<span class="comref3"><a href="http://bible.cc/1_peter/5-8.htm" target="_top">1 Peter 5:8</a></span> Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour<br />
<span class="comref3"><a href="http://bible.cc/1_peter/1-3.htm" target="_top">1 Peter 1:3</a></span> Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,</div><script type="text/javascript">
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<div id="text"><div closure_uid_62lvyj="112">Have you ever been in a relationship that it doesn't matter how hard you tried or what ever you did it just didn't work? Are you just tired of all the arguing , fussing and complaining? Doesn't it , just break your heart when you put so much time or effort in the relationship or marriage and it seems destine to fail? What I have found out from dating or even in marriage that some people, really don't appreciate a good thing or a good person. There are just some people in the word that are just happy with people that are no good or evil. As sad as this may sound, some men or woman will never be good for anyone because they are selfish and evil. As I write this journal it brings back some painful memories, heartache's of my past and failures that I did not want to relive again. But as my Pastor once preached in church one Sunday , "In order to heal , you must in turn heal others". I figured though my pain, I can save others from the same misfortune's or mistakes of my past. Experiencing both bad and the good has taught me a lot about myself . It has also showed me through those bad times when a person is not good for me and what to avoid, if I happen to meet that same type of person in the future. It brings back memories of the talks I had with both my mother and father. When they would used to say, "Son, just because she looks good does not mean she is good for you". They would go on to say get to know her before you get involved with any woman and learn about their family. Find out if she has the same values or beliefs as you do. See if she has the same goals or see if she loves children or family . Then make sure above anything else that she has God in her life. Because a person with out our Lord in Savior in their life is lost and confused. They can and will only cause you problems and can be no good for you. They would also say, just because a person seems religious or acts religious does not mean they are religious. My mom used to always make me laugh when she would say some of the women or men in the church are worse than the men or women in the streets so be careful. She would go on to say baby , some men or women in the world are like wolves in sheep clothing. They might appear too be good people, but in the end you will find they are pure evil. Boy was she right! Through out my many experiences I have seen or been involved with women ,who seemed to be good women or women of God and then they turn out to be worse than the women of the world. My mother and father would finish their teaching and preparing me for the future with these statements that I'll never forget. They would say, "Learn a persons heart, because its will reveal who they really are. "Or they would say , Its not what's on the outside that makes them real men or women its what they possess on the inside that counts" . My mother would say," Find someone who's beauty shines on the inside as well on outside .Find yourself someone who you can love in peace and free of drama or stress. Then when you do son, you then have found yourself a God fearing woman and that good thing that the Bible talks about. When you find this woman you will find that she is not only good a good person , but also good for you. But if you decide to go the other route and date or marry someone just because of looks, money, lust or fame. Then you will find not only are they no good for you, but also that you both will end up being no good for each other. So take my advice take time to learn about the person you are thinking about getting involved with and look before you leap. Do yourself a favor save yourself from all the, heartaches, pain or aggravation. Pray then ask God for help, before you make serious mistake. Remember we did not raise no fools and God does not lead his people blind. So trust him with all your you major decisions. If you are blessed enough to be reading this journal heed both my mothers and fathers advice. Because it will save you from being hurt and also keep you from being disappointed. Sometimes, we run back to a place,or to someone that we know we should have turn our backs on. When God delivers us out of bondage, frees us from pain, stress or a place where we didn't prosper or wasn't happy, and gives us a new place, a new direction or a new person to love. We should embrace it and never look back. Looking back or going back to something or someone that we know is bad for us, is unhealthy to be around or unworthy of our time , can cause our own destruction. Honor God by moving on with your life and embracing something new, because the real blessing is being free. After all you prayed and asked to be free. God has kept his promise too you and so should you .</div><div>Good night and be blessed in Jesus name,</div><div>Charles</div><div><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #0066cc;"> Corinthians 2:14</span></span> But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised.</div></div></div><script type="text/javascript">
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<div class="timestamp" closure_uid_3x8zg4="111"><span _inited="false" _isrelative="true" class="tag_ts" maxrelativedate="0" relativedatecutoff="relative" title="November 15, 2010 at 10:00pm" utc="1289880017"></span></div>If you live long enough you will find that is very easy to get confused or persuaded by other peoples opinions. If you are truthful or even if you take the time to think about it, you will realise that some of our biggest mistakes were made because we either listen or were persuaded by other peoples opinions. Think about where would you be if you just listen to your heart and valued your own opinions or thoughts . But my grandmother has an old saying that still applies today," When in doubt only trust God". For only he knows your beginnings or your endings. As I think about this past statement, I often reflect on my own past mistakes and wonder what would my life be like if I just listen to my own heart or if I just took more chances. My mother what say this statement that I never paid attention to," You will never know how it may turn out unless you give it a try". Now that I am older now I know what she meant. If I knew what I know now I would have taken more risk or chances. I would have went after more of my dreams and maybe accomplished more or maybe I would be married to that beautiful woman, that some said was no good or good enough for me. After all just like my father would tell me," Son its your life and its up too you to live it the way you want too". But as a young adult I was either scared or afraid to take risks, so I valued other peoples opinions, instead of going after my dreams. It makes me think of something that both my mother and father used to tell me, that I am now passing on to you who read this." Surround yourself around successful or positive people or around people who will push you and help you reach your full potential. She would go on to say, that its easy to find people that are judgmental or people with negative thinking, because misery loves company. So son if you happen fall in love or get some new friends ,make sure they are the type that believe in you or have faith in you. Surround yourself around some God fearing people that love you just like your father and I. After I think about my life I realise that I have been blessed and God has always been there for me. If I just trusted him more an practice a little bit more faith then there is no telling where I would be today. If you happen to be reading this I want you to pay attention to these last few words. With any decision always consult or trust God. Pray without fail or with an sincere hearth and God will guide you into the right direction. Never let fear or doubt influence your decisions. When taking advice always remember or examine who you are getting it from. If they happen to be doing worse than yourself, its a good chance that they are not the ones you should be getting advice from. But still do not ignore it, because God works in mysterious ways and can use anyone to get his point across. Always trust your heart and go with your feelings, because you do not want to live your life with regrets. So take risks, enjoy your life and do not pass on opportunities, even when it comes to love. Its your life and you should live it to the fullest. If you are living your life the way someone else or the way your parents want you to live, take your life back because its yours. And if all of this sounds confusing to you and you need some direction. When in doubt only trust God. Always remember this during all the days of your life God removes what man call obstacles' and makes the impossible possible. So never loose faith and believe you can. After all it is YOUR LIFE.<br />
Be blessed,<br />
Charles <br />
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<span class="crossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/hebrews/10-22.htm"><span style="color: #000098;">Hebrews 10:22</span></a></span> let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water</div><script type="text/javascript">
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</div><div dir="ltr"><div dir="ltr">Sometimes many of us have problems that seem impossible to handle or have situations in our lives that can't be ignored. When the bills pile up or when we are buried in debt, our spouses are being unfaithful or our children are being ungrateful or rebellious, all most of us can do is throw our hands up and pray. Just dealing with the everyday daily stresses that may come our way from the outside world and it can be equally hard when most of the problems we have are at home . It reminds me of an old saying my late grandmother would say. "If there is stress , pain or confusion at your home then in reality its not a home". She would go on to say , "Baby, your home should always be peaceful, a place where you can escape the troubles of the outside world". Or like my father would say , Son your home should be your castle , a place of peace and relaxation. The easy thing to do is to for any of us is to give up or let our minds be corrupted (by the devil or the outside world) in to doing something you may regret or into doing something so unspeakable that would only guarantee your ticket too hell. The only way a person can be successful while going through hard times, is not to think so much , then pray. The reason why a person should never try to think their way out of trouble is because that is when the devil can corrupt the mind. He wants you to think about your troubles, because he knows the more you think the easier it will be for you to make a mistake. Its been said when people are suffering, that is when they become desperate and make mistakes. These mistakes can cause a person to be in worse shape than when they started. When in doubt a person needs to put all their troubles, pain and suffering in the hands of the Lord. </div><div dir="ltr">To those who are blessed enough to read this resist the devil, don't give up , because your life is not over and its only a test. God wants you to believe in him again and wants to restore your faith. What you are going through is only a storm,you are not alone, it will soon past and nothing last forever. Good things are on the horizon and blessings shall pour down from Heaven above . God loves you and he really understands. He has not forgotten about you. Do not harm the people who have wronged you and understand this revenge is not an option. Neither is killing yourself or others is not an option. Don't try to drown your sorrows by taking drugs or drinking alcohol, because doing so will not please God. That is why prayer is so important because God has all power and will remove from your life all or anybody who may cause you harm or hurt you. Even if you don't know or feel like it you are a child of God and he loves you . Tell him about your troubles, submit yourself only to him, believe that he is able and then leave it in his hands. Yes, you may be hurting now, you maybe in need money to survive, you may feel stressed out or lost and at times life may be hard. But its not over, stop worrying because and its only a test. Prove yourself worthy of Gods blessing , be patient,stop crying , stop worrying, trust him and practice a little faith. If you believe in him and know that God doesn't lie and always keeps his promises. Then you will have passed the everyday test called life. While you are having problems in your life you should always remember that life is only a test and with God by your side passing it is always guaranteed.</div><div dir="ltr">To those who are having problems and they are in need of prayer I offer you this prayer; Lord, I humble myself before you. My life is not pleasing to me, therefore I know that it displeases you. Please forgive me for my sins and remove this curse that hunts me. I submit and give myself to you O Lord, for I know in your hand I shall be made new. Mold me and change me. Make me into something or someone you may be proud of. Although the changes you may make to my life may hurt at first, I know in my heart that they are necessary, in order to please you and too receive my blessings. I trust you, I believe that only you can change my life for the better. Thank you in advance. Amen</div><div dir="ltr">May God bless and keep you safe from harm,</div><div dir="ltr">Charles</div></div></div><div closure_uid_plw1y5="111" dir="ltr"><hr color="#bbe0ff" size="1" /><span class="crossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/acts/14-17.htm">Acts 14:17</a></span> Yet he has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy."</div></div><script type="text/javascript">
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<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style "><a class="addthis_button_preferred_1" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_2" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_3" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_4" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_compact" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_counter addthis_bubble_style" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a></div><div closure_uid_wyjdgk="110"><div closure_uid_l7ojrj="94">Most of the time, people of the world seem to think only of themselves. Living in a world where there are so many single and independent people we tend to think about what is best for us and not for others. What most of us must realize that if you have a family, children or a spouse, that sometimes thinking selfishly can hurt the people you love. What do I mean by this? Well there are times where we do not get alone with family members like our mothers, fathers and even and ex-spouse . Being that when we do not get alone with them, most of us tend to do our best to keep or stay away from them. It might serve our own purpose by protecting ourselves , but in the end it ends up hurting the people we love especially our children. My mother used to always say to me and my other siblings that sometimes she had to put her own desires or wants, to the side in order too keep our family together. Now that I am living on my own raising my son alone, I now see what she meant.</div></div><div closure_uid_wyjdgk="110"> I know my mother had to do a lot of sacrificing raising a family of six. She had to put herself on the side so that her family and her husband needs were met. I now realize as a man, that what my child may needs and want comes before my needs. Even if I am not happy with my family members or his mother I have to put my feelings on the shelf and do whats best for him.<br />
To anyone who reads this, understand this, life is only a test. Its test your faith, it test you as a parent, it test you as a man or a woman, it test you as a Christan, it test you as a friend and it also test you as a husband or wife. To be good at any of these things you have to be a very unselfish and forgiving person. You have to not only love yourself, but you have to love your family, spouse, church and friends more. You have to sometimes put your own desires on the side to keep what you have. Yes, doing this is very hard and it comes with great sacrifice, but its nothing compared to what Jesus Christ had to do when he sacrificed himself on the cross ,so that we would live and be forgiven. Real men and real woman, do what right and not whats popular. Real men and real woman take care of home first and themselves latter. Real men and real women try to save their marriages, families and friendship's. Those who do whats right and whats pleasing to God, first have to put their feelings, desires<br />
and wants on the side, in order to do whats best for their families. Doing the right thing is not easy and neither is going to Heaven. Sometimes we have separate ourselves from the world and live the way God intended on us living. We all should live our lives respecting our parents, raising our children with good values, loving our spouses more than we love ourselves . Honoring, then praising God, putting no man or women before him. If we are able to put our feelings, wants and desires on the side our blessings from our Father in Heaven will be great. So if you are having a hard time with your children, family member, friend or spouse, try putting your feeling to the side, because in the end your blessings will be great!<br />
Have a blessed day,<br />
Charles<br />
<span class="crossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/philemon/1-7.htm">Philemon 1:7</a></span> Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints.</div><script type="text/javascript">
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</div>Both as children and as adults we are often given advice, some bad but most of it good and its really depends on how the individual or how person that it is given too interpret the advise given. But as an adult I was always told free good advice is like free money, if you use or spend the money wisely then its not wasted. But in turn if you do not take advantage of the advice or money given to you then its wasted.That is what I like to call living life the easy way or learning to live life the hard way. I remember as a child when I used to make both my father and mother very angry. They would always say, son you could have it the easy way or the hard way. Its really up to you which direction you take your life. Then they would go on to say you either live by the rules or suffer the consequence's for your actions. At that time I thought that both my mother and father were very mean people. Why you may ask? Well as you know as a child we always thought we knew a little bit more than our parents. As children and sometimes as adults we always over look a very important fact; which is that they are older; been through what we have or going to go through; they have experience life; been to school and graduated. But for some reason we always seem to think we know better than someone older and wiser than we are .When I look back I laugh to myself, because I can just hear my father in my head saying these exact things to me as I now say to my own children. My father would say ," Son wait until ,you get your own children then you will see, that I am not as mean as you may think or say I am". I am only trying to protect you and prepare you for the outside world. He would go on to say, what you have been through or what ever you might be experiencing, I been there and done that. He would say ," I been through the fire and survived, by God grace". If you just listen to me and heed my warnings my experiences will save you , then you can avoid all of the bad experience's or heartaches that I have experienced in my lifetime. After my father got through preaching, then he would look at me and say, "Son ,you are hard headed and you think you know it all". I just pray that you live to preach to your children and to others what you could have avoided if you just listen.<br />
As I think back on my life I wish I took advantage of both my mothers, fathers, grandmothers, friends and other peoples very wise advice and counsel. I know my life would be so different now and I probably would have accomplished much more than I have today. All of us at one time or another would love to go back in time or in the past and change certain aspects of our life. I have said this to myself and others ot others many times." If I could go back in time I would do this or I would do that". But as we all know there is nothing we can do to change our past,once its done it over and all we have is control over is today . We can change who we are today and we can start listening to that good advice now. If you are reading this journal, please take my advice,listen when someone is talking to you and even if you may think , that you know more than someone else. Try to understand what they are talking about and where they are coming from . Because the advice you are getting free of charge could either change, save or enlighten your life for a life time. Remember this old bible verse, "A wise man changes, but a fool remains the same".<br />
<div id="text">Have a blessed weekend,<br />
Charles<br />
<span class="crossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/11-32.htm" target="_top"><span style="color: #000098;">1 Corinthians 11:32</span></a></span> But when we are judged, we are disciplined by the Lord so that we will not be condemned along with the world.</div><script type="text/javascript">
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</script><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8497612931654066797-771946262448705735?l=holmes0915-what.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>holmes0915http://www.blogger.com/profile/12297519671493680652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8497612931654066797.post-38134652447213265372011-07-13T11:37:00.000-07:002011-07-13T11:37:07.083-07:002011-07-13T11:37:07.083-07:00What Happen To America Role Models?<span><iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=holmes0915&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B003U77NN2&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe></span>As I look around at today's youth, a bad feeling comes over me . When I see young men or young women dressing or expressing themselves in ways that would make our fore fathers turn over in their graves. To me its very sad to see our children, especially our young men or women expose themselves openly in public. Its sad to see our young men walking around with their pants hanging off of them and what's really sad they don't seem to know, understand or care what this really symbolizes or means . Its sad to see our young men dressing that way especially the fathers . Picture this if you would; a young father walking into a store with his two beautiful children. One happens to be a girl and the other a boy. This seems like a normal occurrence, but what makes this different is the fathers appearance. To further explain, well this young proud father , pants are hanging off of him, with both of his ears pierced, but also his nose, tongue and lip. If you saw this all you can say is, what a site to behold and its very embarrassing. Another thing that is really disturbing is seeing our young women really exposing themselves. Its not only sad to see women disrespecting themselves, but doing so in public is especially disturbing. To see a young woman today is almost like looking into a porn magazine. Most young women today dress with so little clothing, that they leave nothing for a man to wonder about or desire. Its also very sad to see the young women dressing that way especially in church or our malls. Today's children or young adults don't have much respect for themselves or others .It makes you question, Who are they following or what has happen to Americas Role models? What happen to our children parents or grandparents ? When I look at the older adults sometimes its hard to figure out who is the adult or who is the child. Some adults that are in their forties and even their fifties dress like teenagers. When I see this its no wonder why our children are lost, because even some of today's adults don't respect themselves. It sad to see our grandfathers or grandmothers dressing or acting like the children they are suppose to be raising . Don't most adults know, even if they don't like it or not they are our children's role models? Don't most of us realize is that our children or our young adults emulate or copy us? What happen to both men and women's pride? I remember not so long ago, that it was an honor to become a man or a woman. My father would stress to me and my brothers everyday why it was so important to be a man. He would say to us God created you , in a male image, because you are the apple of his eye. You sons are a representation of his very first creation. God gave Adam the right to name and rule over all that he created . Then out of Adam he created Eve, that is why as long as you live you should never disrespect a woman. Because she was created out of man for man. So if you ever disrespect a woman, you are in fact disrespecting yourself.<br />
<div dir="ltr">As an adult and a father I don't want my children to follow the worldly role models. The reasons why I don't want them following them , is because most of people they look up too are severally flawed. Its hard to imagine a child or a young adult emulating or copying today's so called successful people. Even the ones in the ministry are not ones for our children or adults to follow. The reason why I say this is because they so easily embrace worldly lifestyles. To many ministers, politicians, entertainers, actors, lawyers and others embrace lifestyles that are not pleasing to God. Then many of them wonder why many of their lives are in shambles despite their incomes. As I struggle as a single parent raising my son, I find myself in a constant battle. Why you ask? Well because of the people that he follows or admires. Yes, my son sees me as a hard working, christian man that carries himself in a respectable manner, but when he looks into the world he sees many people glorifying being bad or sinful. In the world we live in today, there are very few people that lead or become real leaders. Even parents follow the way of the world and forget the traditions that were past on to them, by their past generations. The questions I have to all that are blessed to read this; What happen to the people that our children can look up too and follow? What happen to both men or women's pride? It used to be a proud tradition, becoming a man or a woman. But now our world and especially our children are confused. it seems very few want to be what God created them to be and none want to be what our ancestors envisioned us to be. We now live in a time world where a generation of Gods people are lost. America and the world needs real leaders, parents, role models, people of God. Wake up world! God is not pleased ! Our children and our young adults need you. Become what America and the world thought was lost, become a role model. Someone that all can love or admire . And when God our Father in Heaven looks down on his creation or his children he can do so with a smile that would light up the Earth and the Heavens above.</div><div dir="ltr">May God bless you all,</div><div dir="ltr">Charles<br />
<span class="crossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/ezekiel/33-11.htm">Ezekiel 33:11</a></span> Say to them, 'As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live. Turn! Turn from your evil ways! Why will you die, O house of Israel?' <br />
<hr color="#bbe0ff" size="1" /> <span class="crossverse"><a href="http://bible.cc/micah/7-18.htm">Micah 7:18</a></span> Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.<br />
</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8497612931654066797-3813465244721326537?l=holmes0915-what.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>holmes0915http://www.blogger.com/profile/12297519671493680652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8497612931654066797.post-12812191573397762702011-07-11T11:00:00.000-07:002011-07-11T11:00:12.140-07:002011-07-11T11:00:12.140-07:00Mutual Respect<span><iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=holmes0915&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B000J4J1ES&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe></span><div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style "><a class="addthis_button_preferred_1" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_2" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_3" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_4" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_button_compact" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a class="addthis_counter addthis_bubble_style" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a></div><br />
<div class="timestamp"><span _inited="false" _isrelative="true" class="tag_ts" maxrelativedate="0" relativedatecutoff="relative" title="February 9, 2009 at 10:31pm" utc="1234240302"></span></div>As I have grown and matured over the years,been through many failed relationships . Being that I hate being a failure at anything, I began to study other cultures and talk to people that have been in their marriages for over twenty plus years. To do this I have interviewed many couples who have been married twenty plus years,studied couples from different countries and studied different cultures. By doing this I was able to put all the myth's behind me and I have learn a few things too, that may help me with my future relationship and also help others. I hope that who may read this does so with an open mind, heart and door, because it will be both a learning experience and a blessing to you, if you get the full understanding of it. <br />
<div id="text">If you have been in a relationship, most people would tell you , that if you really want your relationship to last you have to have both trust and faith in it for it to last. I would hear people say, if you do not have trust, then you have nothing or if you do not have faith in your husband or wife then you have nothing. Well these sayings are both true and false. From my studies I have learn that both are over- rated and are not the real foundations of a relationship. You may ask, "well what is the real foundation of a relationship"? Then would say that every foundation when it comes to a relationship, marriage friendship, family and being a parent has to start with your love of God,then your love for the other people involved. The second part of every friendship, relationship, being a parent or family member, is mutual respect. Without mutual respect, there is no way you can love someone, trust them and you can never have faith in them. That's is why it is very important that you respect the people you are involved with. But since this is a subject that I can write a book about, I'll only cover the relationship and marriage part. My mother used to say respect your elders and always respect others. Then she would also say if you do not respect yourself, there is no way others can respect you. That means you first have to love yourself, respect yourself, then be able to make yourself happy, before you can expect the same from others.<br />
The bible says a lot about respect when it comes to marriages and this is one of them. (Ephesians 5:33 However , each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself and the wife must respect her husband.) All the married people that I have talked to and all the studying I have done there was two things always constant and said. It was the love the both shared for each other and the mutual respect that they both kept for each other. They respected the other for who they were and never tried to change them to suit themselves. They would also say that they would never embarrass their spouse in public, because doing so who not only disshonor their spouse but themselves. After all your spouse is a direct reflection of yourself. It seems these days, people do not keep their affairs private or behind close doors. This is something I always respected from both of my parents. They never argued in front of the children and they always kept the problems to themselves. As my mother would say, what happens in this house stays in the house and if anybody has a problem, then it should be dicussed between family members.My mother and father never tried to change who they were and always let their induviduality come through. They loved each other the way they were and respected each other enough to know that their love and faith in God, then each other would make their marriage last a lifetime. So if you have honor, if you have faith in God, if you have love then with all of this, then you should have respect for the other person for who they are. In turn with Gods blessing your marriage, friendship and relationship will last a lifetime.<br />
Have a blessed night,<br />
Charles<br />
Proverbs 13:13<br />
He who scorns instruction will pay for it, but he who respects a command is rewarded.</div><script type="text/javascript">
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<div id="text">Are you angry with your spouse, husband, wife , relative, family member , friend or a complete stranger? Have any of these people hurt you or did something that you have a hard time forgiving and you want to get revenge. You want to get back at them for the pain they caused you and you are tired of being hurt, lied too, cheated on, beat on, abandoned or taken for granted. Sometimes when people hurt you, so bad that you wish something bad would happen to them, so in turn they would know how it feels to be hurt . Then they would understand or realize what it feels like to go through so much pain. Then you loose your mind with anger and allow the Devil to use you, your friends and others to help you plan out a way to get your revenge. Then finally the plan happens, you end up hurting them and at the same time you hurt yourself in the process. Doing this not only embarrasses you, but it also hurts your integrity. This is why we should not take matters in to our own hands and why there are laws in place both by man and by God himself when it comes to matters like this. Its also a sin to seek vengeance, because in the bible God clearly ,"Says vengeance is mine".(Romans 12:19-20 Do not take revenge my friend, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord. (20) On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. 21 Do not be over come by evil, but over come evil with good.) This is Gods law and I do not have to remind you of mans law. Even if you happen to have a spouse that has abused you, a friend that has wronged you or a family member that has hurt you, its best to leave those problems or issues in the hands of professionals. Like my father would always say, that is why they make lawyers or police.<br />
When I think about the mistakes I have made being angry, I have to ask myself," Is it really worth it"? If you are like me, you are wishing you could go back in time and change what you did. Often we regret being dragged into drama, stress or pain. To me it takes to much energy to get angry, fuss or fight and its never really worth it. What I realize is sometimes the people that hurt you the most enjoy it more when they drag you into a fight or disagreement., that is when you should question yourself when seeking vengeance or revenge.Lets face it some people get off or are turned on by getting involved in drama or messy situations.I see these people all the time and it seems that's all they live for. But if you are like me, you really do not have time for people that are so immature or have no real lives of their own. What I have done to avoid these type of people, is pray and removed them out of my life. So take my advice , think things out , cool down before you act and always pray that God can deliver you from this pain.<br />
We all should always trust God with all our problems , even the ones we think we should take care of ourselves. Why? Because we are human, we will make mistakes and eventually we will mess it up or make matters worse. Handling problems with Gods help , is the only way to go. Because if God has his way, the way you have been hurt, wronged, lied to, cheated on or other bad things, will be handled in a perfect way, then it will be a thousand times worse for the person or persons that have wronged you. The old saying is ,"What comes around goes around ". In time what someone did to you will come back to them, then they will be wondering "What did I do to deserve this? That is when God says Vengeance is mine!<br />
Have a wonderful and blessed night.<br />
Charles<br />
Leviticus 19:18 Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.</div><script type="text/javascript">
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<div class="entry" id="entry_16405137"><div id="text">There is a verse in the bible that I really like and its hanging on the wall in my bathroom. 1 Corinthians 13:13," Now these things remain,Hope, Faith and Love". "But the greatest of these is Love". This verse is very important to me, because it tells me what our Father in heaven felt about love and his love for us. Being a person of faith and understanding it help me realize a few facts when it comes to loving someone. A lot of us want things to be perfect and in this age of instant messages, computers, and television,we seem to live by the way of the world. What do I mean by that? Well everyone is watching T.V. , the Internet and getting advice from friends on how to raise children and even getting advice from these sources when it comes to marriage . Without, looking at the real source the bible to get their advice.<br />
It took me a while to understand what love really meant and I know that their are millions of people that really do not know what love is. So I have read the bible and got an understanding from God to what love really is.<br />
Love is patience. Without it you can not love a person. Because there will be ups and downs. There will be times that the person you love disappoints you, hurts you, lies to you and does things you do not like. That's where the patience and understanding comes from. From my reading of the bible, my understanding was that God knew we were sinners and despite our sins he had enough love , patience and understanding to give us a chance at going to heaven. Because its not what you are now that counts its what you may become in the future. That's why when you love someone you have to have all these qualities to raise your children and to have a successful marriage.<br />
You can not have a successful marriage and have raised great children over night, those things take times. Everyone wants to be happy right now, they want their mate and children to be perfect. Without realizing we live in a imperfect world and most things take time. Rome was not built in a day, the world was created in 7 days and great civilizations take life times to build.<br />
If you really love the person, your children and your mate. Then you have to have patience and understanding. Patience to let them learn and grow. Understanding to let them grow at their own pace and to let them also learn to grow up as children to become responsible adults. Also have understanding as a husband or a wife to know that it takes time to have a good marriage. Sometimes its takes 5 years and most of the time it takes longer. Most successful marriages , the one that have lasted over 15 years, from my talks with those people who have been married that long, it took about 7 years before they got a clear understanding on what each other wanted and needed from each other.<br />
But if you really love your mate, your children and your friends. You will have patience with them, then you will have understanding and then the forgiveness in your heart to know that they are only growing in to the person that the were meant to be in the future. If you have children and you want them to be successful, know this one day they will be what you hoped they will be. Just forgive them for their sins, because as Jesus said forgive them father because they know not what they do. If you taught them well, loved them, provided for them and understood your children. Then you would know in time they will be successful adults . If you have a husband or a wife, please be forgiving, understanding and patient. Because in time they will become great husbands and great wives. They do not know you and you do not know them. But in time you both will grow together, have the same habits, same ideals, be on one accord, equally yoked and have a wonderful marriage. If you have the understanding that its takes time and anything worth having is worth fighting for.<br />
Have a blessed night,<br />
Charles</div></div><script type="text/javascript">
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