Monday, January 2, 2012

When The Looks Fades Only The Heart Remains

One of my must favorite moments while growing up was listening too my grandparents. They used to say some of the craziest things that would make the average person laugh, especially a person that didn't understand my grandparents words or expressions. My grandparents were part black, part creole, part white, part indian and both of them had a way with their words. They were very likable people and they loved to talk about people.They didn't mean any harm, but if you listen to them long enough then you would realize that their words had a lot of wisdom in them. I would hear my grandmother say this every time she would see someone getting married for the first time. Everything that looks good isn't always good or what shines on the outside is sometimes very ugly on the inside. When I would question my grandmother about her statements she would explain, that most people fall in love with an image. When I gave her a confused look on my face, then she continued to explain. That both men or women fall in love or become infatuated with a person because of their outer appearance. She would say that some people fall in love because of beauty or brawn and others fall in love because of what a person posses. But what most people don't realize is that its not what a person looks like or what they posses that makes them a man or woman. Instead the true character of a man or woman resides in the heart. My grandmother would say , Baby don't fall for her beauty, her figure or her material things, because you still got to go home with her and lay down with her. What if she is mean or evil what do you have then? I tell you what you have, my grandmother explain a beautiful woman with a black heart. Wow! As I have grown older I realize that my grandparents were very wise people and I am thankful to God that he blessed me to be in their company, so that now I too can share their wisdom with the rest of the world. Now that I am older, I know now why there are so many single men or women in their forties or fifties. Why? Well maybe they thought their beauty,brawn or material things would have helped them keep their man or woman. One thing that I have learned is, it doesn't matter how many degrees you have or how educated you may be, that won't help you keep your spouse or mate. If you are a mean or evil person then you will always be alone and searching for answers, wondering why you are alone without a spouse or mate.
Even though my grandmother gave me very wise words to pay attention to , I didn't apply them to my life as an adult. When I was younger, I often look at a woman's appearance or figure to gage what type of women I fell in love with. Not realizing that the very same women I was interested in were doing the very same thing, but in a different way. What you way you may ask? Well some of the women I dated only dated me because of the car I drove or the job title I had. Others dated me because of my looks, even though I wasn't the best looking guy in the world.(smile) What made me know this to be true, was one of the conversations I had with one of my ex girlfriends. The conversation went something like this. I asked her what attracted her to me" Then she went on to explain that she had been checking me out for a while , noticed that I had a good job, dressed well and drove a nice car. To some of the women that are reading this I know some of you may think this is a normal behavior. This may be true for men or women, but what was unique was what said after I asked her what attracted her to me. She said that a man that dresses well, drives a nice car and has a great job, has too be a good man or a good person. Then I said to her," You were only interested in me because I looked good, drove a nice car and made good money?" Then she said Yes, because I don't want to date any losers or men that don't make any money. Then I said to her that not all men who are not good looking or not employed are bad people. It could be their circumstances that have them in that position. Besides I know a lot of good men that don't have jobs, they are just having their share of bad luck. Then she said to me , well if a man can't do anything for me or provide for my needs then I don't need him. Then I said to her then you are only after what you can get right? Then she said to me, well you men think the same way, all you guys want is what is between a woman's legs. Then I said to her, yes there are some men or women who are only after sex or material things, but true men or women want a person with a good heart. From that moment on I knew that wasn't the woman for me. It reminds me of something my late grandmother would always say, "When the looks fade only the heart remains".
Have a blessed night,
Proverbs 31:30 Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that fears the LORD, she shall be praised.


  1. really enjoyed reading this blog. Charles, your grandmother was right people don't look at the inner part of a person, they only see the outside, or what a person can extend to them. The heart is a part of a person that is unseen and cannot be examined, which is the greatest part of a person that should not be ignored are taken for granted. Some people have their priorities out-of-order, when it comes to nuturing a relationship, you have to think are they only in the relationship for themselves, and what they can get out of it for self-gradification, or are they looking to nuture the relationship to build something that can be so beautiful in the eyes of God. You know like that old saying goes, home is where the heart is, how can you build a home, when you cannot love, and cherish the heart that is trying to keep the home together.

  2. Thanks for sharing, good spiritual food for everyone. God bless your grandmother for helping you find your way.