Sunday, January 8, 2012

Man Verses Woman?

Just a week ago, on Christmas day , after church I heard this couple arguing. What was so disturbing about them arguing was the fact that they started to fight in front of their children. I looked out of my window and noticed that one of them started hitting the other while their children screamed. So I went outside to confront the couple, because I heard their children crying and screaming. Before I could get close to the couple, the man said to me, "Man don't come over here or there will be trouble ! Then I said to him," Look man , I don't want to get into your business, but you guys look kind of stupid fussing and fight in front of your children on Christmas day". Then he looked down and said, Man you are right we shouldn't be doing this today and I am sorry for disturbing you with our problems. The woman looked relieved that I stop the fighting, because her man was so much bigger than herself and he had really beat her up badly. She said to me, "Thank you mister for coming to my aid". I said to her," No problem, but you guy shouldn't be doing this in front of your children". Then she said to me, Well the reason why we were fighting is because he is stupid, doesn't work, I pay all the bills and he is a sad case of a man. That is why I put his ass out on Christmas day! Then I said to her, Wait a minute and stop please. Your children are out here and you are still doing something that you shouldn't be doing in front of your children. Take your children into your house and after you are done, I would like for you and your husband to come talk to me. They both agreed, then later came over to my house to plead their case.
After both of them got through telling me how bad each them were and what they hated or didn't like about each other. I asked them both a couple of simple questions that seem to stun them both. I said to them, You guys are married right? Then they said yes. Married for how long? Then they said, For ten years? Then I said, "And you guys were acting like that in front of your children? Who are really the children, you or them? I continued to tell them that airing out you problems in front of the world isn't very wise and especially in front of the kids. Because children have memories like elephants and they will never forget what you guys did today. After all you are suppose to be man and woman, not man verses woman. If you call your man or woman stupid, dumb, sad or other hurtful words, it doesn't really make the person you are criticizing look bad. It instead makes you both look sad as a couple and give the outside world something to talk about. Then the woman began to cry and say "Chucky, you just don't understand. I work hard, pay all the bills and care for the children with no help from my man". Then before I could say anything he said to her, "Baby, I am trying to find a job and I don't want you to do this by yourself." But before I can do anything you tear me down in front of the children and our family or friends".
Both of them had tears in their eyes and I could tell that they both have been through many storms together. So I smiled and said," I think both of you guys are forgetting something very important". Then they looked and me and said, What? Then I said to them, Well you both have been married ten year, have four beautiful children, you two despite your problems seem to love each other very much and you have weathered many storms together. I said to them, You have made it , both of you are blessed and don't even know it. Then they looked at me with a surprised look in their eyes and said," Man with our problems and you say we are blessed? Then I said , Yes! Because through all the storms, trails or tribulations you guys have weathered , one simple fact remains , you are still together. You guys just forgot one simple formula that every couple needs to survive. Which is when times are hard you should never tear down your man or woman, you should instead build them up. After all, then I looked at them and said, This is your husband. This is your wife. It is suppose to be you guys against the world not against each other. The I said, Now don't both of you look kind of silly, man in one corner and woman in the other? Husband Verses wife or man verses woman? You guys are suppose to be a pair, unstoppable and a force to be dealt with. Always make God the head of your life and the rest shall follow. So stop fighting each other and start loving each other. Its very obvious to me, that if you can make it ten years together, then you are defiantly capable of making it ten more. Then her husband looked into his wife's eyes and said I am sorry baby, I will try and do better. Then they both smile, thank me and left. To those who are blessed enough to read this, never tear down you man or woman in private or in public, but instead support them and build them up. After all that is what love is really about loving each other not fighting each other. A man or a woman is suppose to love each other and should never  match wits with each other. Love or marriage is never suppose to be man verses woman, but instead man and woman loving each other for as long as they live.
Have a great day and be blessed,
Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

1 comment:

  1. Charles, I defintely agree with these inspiring words. When a woman or man speaks negative words, that is telling your mate they are not capable of doing this or doing that. Just as you mentioned the wife called her husband stupid,complained that he dosen't work, she pay all the bills. When the wife spoke these words the message the husband received, was your not trying hard enough, your not capable of finding a job, your not looking hard enough, I'm tired of supporting you, I'm wasting my time with you. The great part that I really love is that you were able to reach them spiritually and make sense out of the situation. Marriage is a two-way street, you take the good with the bad. When you are strong enough in heart to let God handle the bad, He will always turn things around for the good. Married couples have to learn how to build each other up, and not tear each other down. This is what the enemy wants, for married couples to have doubt, and insecurity in each other when times are bad. You don't and excellent job, counseling the couple. Maybe this is something they can grow on.