Monday, July 11, 2011

Mutual Respect

As I have grown and matured over the years,been through many  failed relationships . Being that I hate being a failure at anything, I began to study other cultures and talk to people that have been in their marriages for over twenty plus years. To do this I have interviewed many couples who have been married  twenty plus years,studied couples from different countries and studied different cultures. By doing this I was able to put all the myth's behind me and I have learn a few things too, that may help me with my future relationship and also help others. I hope that who may read this does so with an open mind, heart and door, because it will be both a learning experience and a blessing to you, if you get the full understanding of it.
If you have been in a relationship, most people would tell you , that if you really want your relationship to last you have to have both trust and faith in it for it to last. I would hear people say, if you do not have trust, then you have nothing or if you do not have faith in your husband or wife then you have nothing. Well these sayings are both true and false. From my studies I have learn that both are over- rated and are not the real foundations of a relationship. You may ask, "well what is the real foundation of a relationship"? Then  would say that every foundation when it comes to a relationship, marriage friendship, family and being a parent has to start with your love of God,then your love for the other people involved. The second part of every friendship, relationship, being a parent or family member, is mutual respect. Without mutual respect, there is no way you can love someone, trust them and you can never have faith in them. That's is why it is very important that you respect the people you are involved with. But since this is a subject that I can write a book about, I'll only cover the relationship and marriage part. My mother used to say respect your elders and always respect others. Then she would also say if you do not respect yourself, there is no way others can respect you. That means you first have to love yourself, respect yourself, then be able to make yourself happy, before you can expect the same from others.
The bible says a lot about respect when it comes to marriages and this is one of them. (Ephesians 5:33 However , each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself and the wife must respect her husband.) All the married people that I have talked to and all the studying I have done there was two things always constant and said. It was the love the both shared for each other and the mutual respect that they both kept for each other. They respected the other for who they were and never tried to change them to suit themselves. They would also say that they would never embarrass their spouse in public, because doing so who not only disshonor their spouse but themselves. After all your spouse is a direct reflection of yourself. It seems these days, people do not keep their affairs private or behind close doors. This is something I always respected from both of my parents. They never argued in front of the children and they always kept the problems to themselves. As my mother would say, what happens in this house stays in the house and if anybody has a problem, then it should be dicussed between family members.My mother and father never tried to change who they were and always let their induviduality come through. They loved each other  the way they were and respected each other  enough to know that their love and faith in God, then each other would make their marriage last a lifetime. So if you have honor, if you have faith in God, if you have love then with all of this, then you should have respect for the other person for who they are. In turn with Gods blessing  your marriage, friendship and relationship will  last a lifetime.
Have a blessed night,
Proverbs 13:13
He who scorns instruction will pay for it, but he who respects a command is rewarded.

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