Tuesday, November 1, 2011

When Two Become One

There is an old church saying "Two unequally yoked people won't have a happy marriage". Another saying is, If chose to you marry, then make sure you marry someone that is your equal or someone that brings something too the table. In other words, if the person you are seeking to marry has nothing to offer you or has nothing to offer the marriage then you should think about it very carefully. But a saying that I really loves comes from my late grandmother( Latisha Raby ). She would say," When one enters into a marriage, they can't go into it thinking selfishly, because it takes two to make it and when you marry too become one". In other words the person or persons  you were before the marriage has to change. When I asked her to explain this statement too me she would say," Son people of the world and even some in the church don't know or even understand the  meaning of the word  marriage . When people in the church  talk, they talk about being equally yoked and when  people of the world talk, they always talk  about bring something too the table, like money or a career. What these people don't realize is that none of that matters and those sayings have little effect on a marriage. Being equally yoke  or having a man or woman with something to offer the other, doesn't guarantee marriage survival. She would go on to say ," Baby it takes more than that and the  people that are thinking about marriage or even those that are in marriage need to figure out how to become one, before thinking about being the one". What my grandmother meant was, when people get married they become the combination of two different lifestyles, cultures  or two different  of ways of living and thinking.

 The man or the woman will  have different views on life, religion and family. Where the problem comes is when the two have to change their ways in order to become one . There are a lot of people that want to marry, but many don't want to make the necessary changes to make the marriage work. Some people don't want to give up who they were before they become married. What I found is in women, which is a very disturbing trend that most women these days, don't even want to change their last names. It used to be in years past that it was an honor to take a mans last name. But now in today's society, women want the man to either embrace their last name or compromise, our fore fathers principles . Also I don't think that most Preachers, Pastors or Priest teach their followers or believers that marriage is a covenant between man and God.

  In the Bible it speaks about forsaking your parents in order to make the marriage work. I am going to take this a little step further, by saying in some cases some may  also have to forsake their friends in order to make the marriage work. Why would I make this statement? Well I have known many of friends that have destroyed many of marriages'. Sometimes having a noisy friend that is either unhappy with their spouse or having a friend that is single with no spouse of their own can harm a marriage. The old saying is misery loves company. If you lived long enough you would know their are people out there,(Even our friends or family) that are not happy unless someone else shares their own plight. As I gather my thoughts I can't help but too think about my wise late grandmothers famous sayings or words. The things we want the most(Love, family or success) are the things we tend to want now or rush into. If we used our brains or the minds that God has blessed us with, then we would know the things we want now take time and require patients . Nothing in life that is of value should be rushed. It should be carefully planned and prayed on too have the blessing from God. Because if its rushed then it will fail, but if you have patients then you will soon realize that good things really come to those who wait.

A lot of single men or women have lifestyles that would crush any marriage.  There are a lot of habits many of us have that can harm a marriage that should be done away with before the marriage begins.( Like clubbing, staying out late, doing drugs,over drinking, gambling and having many sexual affairs). The basic fact is that some men or women never grow up and refuse to change. To those who don't realize it, I have this to say, Even though you might not want to grow older, you will and don't have a choice when it comes to arguing. The simple fact we all must realize when seeking a spouse or mate, is that we all have somethings in our past or in our current situation that we need to stop in order to make the relationship or marriage grow. I know some that may read this may say, Well he or she met me this way, why should I have to change? Or others may say I have been this way most of my life and its impossible to change. To those who may feel this way, I say if you love, honor and obey God then you should change. For even when it comes to being saved one must forsake or give up the ways of the world in order to go to Heaven. For it is written those who love the world, hate God and  will have no place in Heaven. So even becoming one with Christ requires change. God made men and women different from all of his creations. We were made in his image and design for a special purpose.
Have a blessed day,

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Ephesians 5:28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.


  1. I love this message this is a good message to everyone you really spoke right hear you hit the spot

  2. I hope many that read this message, take it as inspirational growth which could lead to a successful loving future. Learning that no one is perfect, and we all have our flaws, I personally believe change is good for the soul. Thinking about what you said makes perfect since, releasing oneself from that empty shell that really has not amounted to nothing, but continuous repeated failure, it's a sign. In order to better oneself, you must not be reluctant to change. Out with the old, in with the new, what harm could change do if things still remain the same, that have not amounted to anything. I believe change is a necessity for our lives for growth and prosperity. Yes, in order for a marriage to work, and for two people to become one, change is necessary.