Question Of The Week (Before I Get Married)

Its always refreshing to me when I get a letter from a reader or when someone gives me a complement on my writing. It keeps me motivated to continue doing Gods work. At least I know somewhere in the world someone is getting touched by the word of God. We all could use some encouragement and everyone of us could use a little motivation to get us through our days. Today's question comes from a woman who is thinking about getting married. What I like about her question that you are about to read, is that she balances her past with her present, while looking ahead towards the future. Even though I never recommend looking back, I often think of our past as a future road map or as guide and if we follow it correctly then it will keep most of us from repeating the mistakes of our past or of  yesterday. I always believed that God allows each of us to suffer and to go through things so that we can learn from them.( 1 Peter 4:1  Since therefore Christ has suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin; ) If we are both smart and wise then we learn from every life changing experience, the good or the bad. Then praise God for each of them, because without them none of us would be the man or woman we are today. Now to the question of the week...

Before salvation, some of us had certain preferences in area of intimacy, but when we receive salvation our old man was suppose to die and was  created anew, old things past away. Question: Should your past sexual preferences be expected in your relationship with your spouse? Soul ties were created due to ungodly activities and relationship. Would past sexual preferences be considered "baggage" from a past relationship?  Shouldn't a new relationship created by God start off afresh with no comparison or expectations from past relationships and let things be formed as the relationship flows?  Also, when should sex be discussed before marriage? and Should you still consider marrying someone if your preferences are different or even uncomfortable?

Angela

First of all I would like to thank Ms Angela for her question. Before marriage I feel every question should be asked and then answered, that way both will know what they are getting themselves into.The reason I feel this way is because marriage is a very serious thing. Its a contract between man, woman and God. These days not many people take wedding vows or commitment to each other very serious. Also none take very much time learning or understanding that when two people do get married it is for a lifetime. As far as past intimacy or relationships, those things should be left in the past. When one begins a new relationship or marriage, they are in a sense starting over. Marriage is almost like being or becoming saved. The person or persons you were in the past is no more and a new you or a new way of living begins. My advice to you Angela and to anyone that reads this, never bring your past into your future, because it will only cloud your judgement or ruin your relationship and your marriage in the future. Go into it expecting a new and wonderful experience starting over or starting new. Begin your new life without false expectations of your past and start afresh under Gods rule.

May God bless you my sister in Christ,

Charles

Isaiah 43:18 "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past

Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

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John 3:3 In reply Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again."