Don't Want To But Need To

Both as  children and as an adults, many of us have things in our lives that we should be doing to improve  our lives. There are things we all can do to improve our health or ourselves personally . Also we can do things to improve our relationships with our, children, spouses, family members and more important all of us can improve our relationship with God. But one question always remains in each of our minds and hearts, why won't we improve or change the  things that we know would better our life and also improve our relationships with the people we love ? Is it because we are too stubborn? Or is it because we have to much pride? Some may say its too late to change and also that they are set in their ways. Even with a Doctor telling  some people that if you do not change or stop what you are doing it could lead to death,even then there are those who refuse to change.They would make silly statements like ,Everyone has to die from something or they would say, Everyone will die, so why not die happy? Sometimes it makes one wonder why? Why is it that we refuse to do the right things and relish in doing the wrong thing? Why do we hold on to the popular beliefs that its to late to change or fool ourselves into believing that , the reason that we do not change is because that is just the way we are or that its just genetic? Maybe its because some have themselves, believing that its in their nature to act a certain way or be a certain way. Therefore that means everyone else in the world will just have to get used to it and accept them the way they are, because they are not going to change for anybody, not even their selves.To some that might sound good or even be popular in some circles, but to God our Father in Heaven that is, foolish or selfish. I have heard both men and women saying these very words that makes any intelligent person wonder why won't they change or  do right?

The biggest reason why most will not change is because most people are being influenced by bad people. Some are raised in bad environments others are influenced by the people they surround themselves with. But ever person that lives on the Earth is mainly influenced by the devil. It is his job to do what ever it takes to keep people from being closer to God. Once people realize that devil is the enemy and he is doing what ever it takes to make them do the wrong  or sin , then those who fear God will change. So if you are a drug addict; alcoholic; over weight and need to exercise; on prescription medicine and refuse to take your medicine; having a affair with a married person or doing anything that you know is wrong, then you need to change. I know you don't want to, but you really need to change. God loves you and he really wants the best for his people. As Gods people we all must realize that we only have one life to live, one body and while we live plenty of chances to get it right. So while we have breath in our body, do what most don't want to and change your life. Do what you need to and become one of Gods children.

Have a blessed day,

Charles

Timothy 3:2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, uplifted in pride, given to bitter words, going against the authority of their fathers, never giving praise, having no religion,

James 4:6 But he gives more grace. So that the Writings say, God is against the men of pride, but he gives grace to those who make themselves low before him.

All I need

I was blessed with a wise father. He taught me some valuable lessons about life and survival. One is his famous sayings is, Life has no real guarantees. What he meant by this is that if you really want something in life, you will have to work hard for it. What I have learned on my own is that this lesson not only applies to your career, but also to your personnel life. What I have also  found that if you really want something, you have to work hard to get it and also work hard to keep it. My father used to say, "Son stop dreaming about what you want and make it a reality". He would go on to say ," There is nothing wrong with dreaming or wanting things". But if you do no put any effort in getting what you want or dream about , then you really do not deserve it. I took his words to heart and I live by those same principles today. Yes, I window shop just like everyone else, but I also put a plan in place so that I can do what ever it takes to make my accomplish my dreams and then make them a reality.
We all dream about having a nice car, a beautiful house or home, a wonderful career, a spouse and a life that's forever blessed. But if we do not go after those things, then one has to question do they really deserve having them. It real easy for some to concentrate on achieving just some of the goals without completing the rest. But if you leave any job or lesson incomplete then its not really  finished. For those who I have just lost with this statement, let me explain. If God happens to bless you with a good job, a beautiful home and you have no one special to share it with. You may be happy for a moment , but then you will realize without that special someone in your life, you will find yourself asking," What is it that I am missing"? Then you will know, that all your life you have worked hard and achieve most of your goals, but without love all your hard work will only lead you into sadness.
 I was told once by a very rich woman that I would not be happy if I were rich, because people would only want you for your money. The time she told me that I never understood what she meant until now. This was a woman who had everything in the world that money could buy. But the two must important things in life that she didn't have, couldn't be bought with money.What are these two things you may ask? Well for one she didn't have God or his son Jesus Christ in his life, therefore she didn't have love in her life either. Because if she had Jesus, in her life then she would have realized that having money or material things are nice to have, but they are only temporary. Having love and Jesus is forever.To those who are blessed enough to read this take my advice, while you are out in the world trying to further you careers or achieve new financial heights. Take time out for yourself and seek true love, because life truly has no guarantees. Look for your soul mate , spouse for life and seek or look for that good thing that the bible speaks of. Do not spend your life alone without your help mate or rib. Travel then explore the world with that special someone. After that build a solid relationship with God and his son Jesus Christ. Because having just like anything else you will have to work hard to get it and even harder to keep it. Having God and his son Jesus Christ by your side will make this transition even easier ,then you will realize that you can really have it all. What it all boils down to is that God is all a person needs. With a little faith all things are possible through belief or faith in Jesus.

Be blessed,

Charles

 Corinthians 1:22 who also sealed us, and gave us the down payment of the Spirit in our hearts.

 

What do men really want or need?

I have been asked many times, "Why are men so, complicated, difficult or hard to deal with"? I have also been asked," Why is it so hard for a man to be faithful or do most men need more than one woman to keep them satisfied"? Or what is it that men really want or need? Since I know that there are going to be a few women reading this journal, I first want women to realize that both men and women have similar wants or needs .Yes men of today and men from different countries have different views when it comes to dealing with women. But when it comes sharing our hearts men in general have several things in common.
But before I get in to these things I first would like to explain, why men are they way we are and why we may seem complicated or difficult to understand for most women. From birth most men are raised to be providers, also to be strong both physically and mentally. I remember as a child my father would constantly remind me that I was the man of the house, even at the early age of six. Being that I was the oldest of six I had it even harder than my younger brothers. My father used to say, Charles you are the oldest and you have to set an example for your younger brothers. If you fail then they may think that its okay for them to fail, but if you succeed then they will be obligated to succeed. He would go on to say son that may not seem fair, but life is not fair. What I also loved about my father, was that he was very up front with his views or ideals on dealing with the opposite sex. He would say always respect a woman, for she is the one that may one day carry your child , but also be cautious when dealing with a woman . Because just as beautiful and as tempting they can be , they can also be both  dangerous and hurtful to a mans heart. So take a woman at face value or how she may present herself to you at the very beginning of your first meeting. As a young man I always looked at a woman's appearance and never took time to see what was really inside. My mother used to always warn me and always told me to use caution when dealing with a woman. Some may find this as a surprise at my mother telling me to be careful with dealing with women. But both my mother and father were very real when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex. They tried to protect my brothers and sisters with very real talk about relationships. They were very careful not to make us feel that one sex had the advantage over the other. They also wanted us to understand that both had their flaws and both contributed to failed relationships. As I have learned from both of my parents and from my own experience I often would give my own daughters some pointers on dealing with men and  if my daughter would be reading this would laugh at this saying," If you present yourself to a lion as prey then prepare to be treated as prey ". "But if your present yourself to be an adversary or his equal then you will be treated or respected as his equal". What this means is men only respect what they see , hear or feel.Most men are just like lions in the wild and by instinct we are made to hunt and pursue what we like or want.
That is why in the Bible, when it says,"When a man finds a wife he finds a good thing. That statement alone shows that men are the ones that are constantly seeking a good mate. The only way that stops is by the man finding that woman that meet most of his needs But first a woman has to earn a mans respect before that can happen.  So if a woman wants a man to respect them then they would also have to respect themselves. In that way men and women are not very different. We both look at a persons outer appearance and we both pay very close attention to the way a person carries themselves.Are we men complicated? In some ways we may appear to be to women, but in most cases we are not. Can we be faithful to one women? Yes , but it takes a special woman with certain qualities to keep her man happy or satisfied .My mother always used to say to me a real woman compliments her husband or spouse.What I loved about my mother was that she was always real and very up front with her words and actions. When she talked to me she demanded respect and wanted me to know that her talks or lessons were valuable. She would say to me, "Charles get yourself a woman that can add something to your life and a woman that can become a special part of your life. Stay away from women who only want or desire you out of need. If a woman only wants you because you look good, have a good job or for material reasons, then you do not need her. Only get a woman that genuinely loves you and a woman that looks toward to the future. She would say if a woman is constantly looking backwards and never looking forward,then she has her head stuck in the sand. She would go on to say, it takes time for a man and a woman to fit together like a puzzle. It takes a lot of compromise, a lot of learning  , a lot of patience and a whole lot of love. Between a man and a woman all things can be worked out or saved through God. If both respect each others needs, wants and desires,then all the complications or difficulties will be taken care of. Since God created both Adam and Eve both men and women have been forever linked. Its not really that difficult or complicated, both men and women were created for each other.

What do men really want or need? Well most men want a woman who is confident, but laid back. What this means is for some men, a woman that's overly confident in her abilities or knowledge, can be intimidating to some men. Even though some men such as myself respect and enjoy having a woman that we can match wits with. For others it can make them feel insecure.Most men also like to have a woman that's drama free. What I have heard from most men is that they really hate to argue and fuss. To be honest most men stay away from their own home because they are afraid when they get there, their spouse will have something to argue or nag them about. Men hate it when their spouses or wives bring up their past. Men also hate it when they are constantly reminded of their failures. Men also hate it when they are constantly being nagged or worried about something that their wives or spouses want to get done.Also men hate it when they woman they are with after sometime in the relationship want them to change or to be like someone else.My mother used to have a saying for those who may want their man or woman to change or to be like someone else. She would say," Accept me they way I am and if  I am not what you are looking for then find yourself someone else". What I have found from my past relationships is that most women are never satisfied, if you give them ever thing they may want or need, then some may ask you to be like their ex-boyfriend , ex- husband or even ask for me to be something I am not. A good example of this when I have often heard some women say, "Why can't you be more like...... or you are to hard or soft you need to be a little harder or softer".All I can say to this pass statement is ladies men do not come prepackaged. Yes, both men and women loved the ideal of having that perfect mate or spouse. We all would love to have a man or woman that fits all of our needs. But if you face reality you will realize that there are no perfect man or woman. That being said you will just have to accept the man, the way he is. If he happens to be too short, tall, muscular, fat or skinny, the only thing that really should matter is the size of his heart.

The reason , I use both my mother and my father in this journal, is because they had the one of the greatest example, of what a marriage should be. Both loved each other unconditionally, both supported each others dreams, both were forgiving of each other. Also what I respected most in my mother was that she constantly looked out for my fathers needs. She was the type of woman that pampers her man and she treated him like her king. If she happen to be home before,  my father made it home(Since they both worked) she made sure his bath water was ready for him and she always had a dinner or lunch prepared, so that he had something good to eat. She supported both his dreams and vision. I never heard them argue about money or finances. They never competed against each other and were teammates until the end.So when it came to raising the children, building a new home, buying a car or even starting a new business, they were always on the same page.When I became and adult I asked my mother what was the secret to my mothers and fathers long lasting marriage.She just smiled at me and said," Son there is no perfect marriage or relationship". She would go on to say, that what you see on the outside is not necessary what is on the inside.  Every marriage or relationship take a lot of hard work, understanding, some trust , you also have to be very forgiving, supportive and above all else have a strong love and respect for your mate.But the key to our marriage is that we both looked after each others needs and we also were very open with our thoughts or opinions.Your father and I respected each other as individuals.Also unlike the people that are married today we never gave up on each other and we never let anyone on the outside affect or marriage or our decisions. We made our important decision's together and we always talked them through.Also she said if I ever got married to never go to bed mad.She said, my father and her talked about what bothered them and worked things out.She went on to say," We never forced anything on the other and we always encouraged each other to get better or to achieve our dreams". In short she would say, I was what your father both wanted and needed. I was patient enough to know that the man I married would become something great with me by his side. I was forgiving enough to understand him when he made mistakes. I was believing enough to realize that through God all thing are possible through him.My mother used to always say that she was my fathers rock. Whenever the world was against him, she was the one that was always by his side and supported him when others wouldn't. She went on to say," So when your father dreamed of getting us a bigger house or car, I never doubted that he could do it". I was patient enough to know that all good things come in time. That way I never became impatient and I waited. That patience paid off she said ," Because now your father and I have raised six beautiful children, bought a nice home and we have everything we could ever wanted with Gods grace".I was loving enough to care for him even when he was sick or became depressed. I was truly his help mate and supported and loved him for better or worse, through thick or thin, for richer or poorer , until death do us part. I was and  I am that Proverbs woman. I was everything that God intended on a woman being, what my man wants or needs. What do men really want or need? A woman just like my mother.

Be blessed,

Charles

Against The World

When I think of all the bad things that are happening in the world today, there are few things that hurts my heart and touches it at the same time. One of them is when I hear of children being misused and the other is when I hear of some people who take life for granted or when others take people lives. With those bad or terrible things happening in the world I know that our Father in Heaven is not pleased. But what disturbs me the most is when I hear  of couples or married people arguing or fighting each other. Some in public, while others argue, fuss or fight behind closed doors .When in truth when man and woman become one, it is suppose to be the two of them, against the world. Couples or married people are not suppose to be fighting each other, they should instead be fighting for each other. It's suppose to be for better or worse, richer or poorer and till death do them part. I wonder what  happened to this and why do most people ignore their wedding vows? What happen to couples being together through the good or the bad? What happen to couples or married people giving each other both time and space to really learn about each other? Why is it that we all tend to want and instant fix or the perfect mate right away, when in fact we ourselves not perfect or free of sin?

What happen to our understanding and why do we expect to trust in our marriages or relationships when, both hardly know each other? Don't we all know that this takes time just like everything else?Why won't couples or married people work at trying to stay together rather than working on how, to separate or work at getting a divorce? Don't most of us realize that you have to build a  good relationship or marriage and all of should know that true love takes time and needs time to grow. If we cannot get our own personnel lives together, then what type of example are we giving our children. Another question that should be asked is, Why do we expect others to have good mates ,when we cannot find a good mate for ourselves? Why is it that we all complain about there not being enough good men or good women out there when both sexes have a hard time keeping someone in their life for a long period of time?
I think why this hurts me so much , is because I have had my share of bad relationships and that I also have been through a divorce. So I know how it feels to be betrayed and I even know how it feels to have a broken heart. Going through this sometimes makes you wonder if its even worth it to date or even to marry. I have asked myself this question many times," Is it even worth it to give your heart to someone when in time they will only break your heart? Dating, going through marriage can be both wonderful at times and heart breaking at the very same time. Its sad but while dating or in marriage, its only human nature that we only remember the bad times while forgetting the good times. Most of the time we never acknowledge a persons good side or their good deeds. Instead most people when they argue focus on a person mistakes, failures and sins. It seems these days that no one really wants to work in the relationship. Both men and women expect a man or woman to come them prepackaged with no faults, perfectly suited for them , without sins or drama. We all want the person just right for us,equally yoked, God fearing, loving, kind, considerate, understanding, fun and perfect. But at the same time most of us do not realize that if this person really existed , it wouldn't work anyway. Why would I say this? Well if we happen to be blessed with someone as perfect as this we would  latter complain that he or she is too good to perfect, to understanding, to loving or to Godly  to be the right man or woman for us. We would make statements like this, "he or she is too good to be true or that they must be gay.It seems it does not matter that we prayed for a good man or woman , because in the end most will never be happy or satisfied. But its not really suppose to be this way, its suppose to be you and I against the world, for better or worse for richer or poorer, till death do us part.

Have a blessed week in the Lord,

Charles

1 John 4:12 No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us
Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.

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James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Two Sides Of A Story

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There is an old saying I used to hear and say when I was a child, " You are all in my cool aid and do not know the flavor or the taste, so please stay out of my business! As I think about this statement or saying, it makes me laugh. Because it reminds me of my mother saying to me , "That you children sometimes say the craziest things". But as I really think about that saying, I see that statement holds some truth. Because people in the past and even in today's time are always in your business.Its funny to me how someone who does not even know you or your situation now become experts on how you should live your life. But like an old preacher has said in the past," If you have not been in my shoes or traveled the roads that  I have been on, then there is no way you will know where I am going. That is why when I write or give advice, I give it from past experience or I reference the Bible. Because to me there is no better advice than the word of God. For those who may question this, take this in mind. God is the creator of all things. He knows your beginning's and he also knows your endings. So who better to take advice from than God?

Even as a father or a brother, I try to stay my distance from giving both my children or family members advice. Especially if there is a confrontation between their spouse with my brothers or sisters. I learned real early not to get involved in their business. Why you may ask? Well my mother has a famous saying, 'There is two sides to a story or her other saying,"It takes two to tangle". She would say to me, Son you do not know whats going on behind closed doors, so take my advice and stay out of it. But as a young adult I always wanted to protect my sisters and even though I knew my sisters were not perfect I always stood up for them. I remember this like it was yesterday,my sister and her boyfriend at the time got into this big fight. She called me one night very late and said "Charles my boyfriend is hurting me". Just like any big brother would do, I jumped in my car and rush over to her apartment, trying to be the hero to save my sister from harm. When I got there I had fire in my eyes and I was ready to fight. Then her boyfriend looked at me with fear in his eyes and said, "Man you really do not know whats going on and you really do not know your sister". I thought about it for a brief second, because I remember what my mother told me, but then I ignored her advice, then forced him to leave. Only latter to find out that my sister went back to her boyfriend and also to find out that she was the one that really started the argument in the first place. I was so mad at my sister for getting me involved with her problems that I confronted her, then she said,"You are all in my cool aid and do not know the flavor or the taste, so stay out of my business". When she said this to me I smile and said Wow! Then I laughed. Then my sister asked me why did I laugh? I then said to her, that our mother told me not to get involved with your problems and I didn't listen. But now I know better, so next time you solve your own problems. The moral to this story is if you can not offer positive advice from what you have experienced before, then keep it too yourself. Sometimes its best to sit on the side lines and let your children family members or friends, experience life for themselves. If they happen to fall or fail, then step right on in and help them like a good parent, proud family member or friend  should. The next you try to get involved in someone's business or something that doesn't concern you, always remember that there is always, two side of a story.

Be blessed,

Charles

John 14:16,17  "I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; • that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.

Lifestyle

I have been often told that I look very young for my age and I thank God for blessing me to look young as I do. But after further examination, I realize that if I did not change my lifestyle or mature I could be looking like the rest of the forty year olds. My mother always used to tell me to ignore people who say, “Age is only a number“. She would tell me; instead of listing to that nonsense I should mature at every age and not make the same mistakes as I have in my past. She would say to me, not only learn more, but also take better care of yourself when you become older. My mother was very wise and when she was feeding her family she was always careful to feed us what she thought was healthy. As I grew older I took some of my mother’s advice, I made sure I ate well and I exercised. Even though when I was younger I did the things that you expect a young man to do when he first leaves home or as my grandmother would say, “When a bird leaves the nest“. I went out to clubs, stayed out late, drank excess fully; I slept sparingly and rarely ate right. All of my mothers teaching went out the window, when I left the house. Being a young man I thought I was invincible and also I was free of my mother’s rules. My father used to say to me, Son you are young dumb and full of………. Now that I am much older and wiser I understand his reasons for saying this statement.

What I realized is that every year I get a little older and I should not continue the doing the things that’s I have done in my youth. When you become a father, then latter a grandfather then there comes a point in time when you should change. To those who may question this, I have some questions for you. Have you ever been to your high school reunion or have you ever bump into someone you grew up with, then latter discovered that they look much older than yourself? I know I have and I have often question myself, on why I look younger than other people of my age or sex. What I have discovered is that some people never grew up, mature or change. They keep doing the things that children and young adults do. They stay in the streets; they drink excess fully, use drugs, over eat, have unprotected sex and hardly ever get any rest. That’s a recipe for disaster and can make anyone look old real quick. In anyone doubts that these type of lifestyles will only age you, I have some important facts to point out to you. Even doctors say it’s important for human beings to eat right, exercise and to get plenty of rest. That fact would make anyone realize that if you are living a risky lifestyle, when you get older you should change. But if you want your life to have perfect order, then you should give your life to Christ. What I realized as a Christian and lover of Christ, that now my life has order or purpose. I have changed my life of being a single father of the world, into being a single Christian father. I learned how to live my life according to God rules and now my life has peace. I no longer have to please man and I also have grown up. My mother has a saying that has always stayed with me. “When you know better, you do better or the biblical saying that equally applies to this statement,” A wise man changes, but a fool remains the same“. The moral to this journal is if you happen to be over weight, unhealthy and look older than you should. Then maybe it’s your lifestyle that needs to be changed. Try living your life for Christ and I promise you your life will never be the same again.
Have a blessed evening,
Charles

Free At Last!!!

Do you sometimes feel like you are in prison? Are you in abusive relationship or marriage that you feel trapped in or in one that you are afraid of leaving? Do you have a job or career that you feel unhappy with and want a change? Are you unhappy with your life and feel that you need a change , but do not know what to do to make that happen? If you are reading this chances are you have answered, yes to one of these questions. Many times in our lives we become trapped in relationship's, jobs and situations that we feel we cannot escape from. Then we become unhappy, which can lead to stress , which latter can even affect our health. Depression sets in and it begins to affect our lives. Our friend's or family members instead of being supportive begin to turn on us , just like the  people in outside world. Most will begin to think that no one loves them and there is no way out of their situation. But I have news for those who seek a new beginning and want to be free. God does love you and God does understand your needs. He does not want you to suffer and he does not want you to worry. If you are looking for a new life or a new direction turn all of your problems or troubles to him, then he will begin to free you from all of  your pain. God our Father in Heaven will open up new doors and give your life a sense of purpose. He will begin to move bad people out of your life , then replace them with , good ,positive, God fearing people that love God and also love life. Instead of criticism, you will receive words of wisdom. Instead of abuse you will receive love and affection. Instead of unhappiness you will become complete and your new life will have a true purpose. After you have turned your life over to Christ, you will become new and free. Your eyes will begin to open and you will see the world like you never have seen it before. Then you will be able to life your life with more freedom and with less restrictions. God our Father in Heaven will begin to open up new doors and give you the desires of your heart. Then you will find there is no personal joy greater than having freedom and being able to enjoy life the way that God intended you to live. Once God has freed you from your depression, your guilt and your shame, you will not ever want to go back to living that way again. After you received these blessing, you will be compelled to get on your knees and pray ," Free at last, thank God  O Mighty ,I  am free at last"!

 Have a blessed night,

Charles
Exodus 6:7 And I will take you to me for a people, and I will be to you a God: and you shall know that I am the LORD your God, which brings you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians.

Ephesians 2:14 For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility,
Isaiah 61:1 The Spirit of the Lord GOD is on me; because the LORD has anointed me to preach good tidings to the meek; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;