A Conflicted Life

Over the many years of life that God has blessed me with , I have come to learn many things. One if you don't work hard, apply yourself properly, have a plan and stay determine it very unlikely that you will succeed. As cruel as this may sound when you leave home and get out on your own, its really up to the individual to make it in life. What I have found is many people in this world are still hoping or they are still depending on their mothers or fathers to make it. When in fact their parents really don't owe them anything. Once a parent raise their children, then they become adults and have the ability to fend for themselves, then they are in fact on their own. That lesion was taught too me at a very young age, when I left home as a eighteen year old man. I knew when I left home, that I could no longer depend on my mother or father for love, success or any type of financial support. I was now a man like it or not and I had to learn life the hard way then had to learn it quickly in a very cruel hard world. What ever success or failures I encountered it would be because I made them and in the end it was, I that was responsible for what ever happened in my life. Many times in my life I had to lean back on my fathers, mothers, former teachers, grandparents teachings or wisdom, to help guide me through my many storms. I looked up to my late grandmother,( she was my role model) because even though she was in her seventies she still worked hard and did what ever it took to make it in this world. One would think that my late grandmother wouldn't had have too work so hard being that she was in her seventies or that she could depend on her children to take care of her because of her old age. But in this conflicted life we all live in no one can really depend on their family or friends to care for them. The only one we all can truly count on in our time of need is God.

What made my late grandmother so special was her sheer determination, her strong character, her love for God and her very rare unconditional love for family, that missing in this world we all live in today. What I loved about her was that she never looked down on you, even when you made a mistake and despite a persons faults she never threw any of her children or grandchildren away. She was always supportive, very loving and caring. She refused to believe that any of her children or grandchildren weren't good or were failures. She always believe that all of her children and grandchildren, had what it takes to make it or to succeed in this world. That is why I miss her so much and regret everyday, that I didn't have the time to properly tell her how much she meant to me.

My advice too anyone who is blessed enough to read this, is to tell the people you love, that you love them while there is still breath in their bodies. Never let anyone come between you and your family or friends. Because doing so may cost you valuable time that you can never get back again. And if by some rare chance that God blesses you with someone that will love you unconditionally, never let them go. Don't let your family or friends take away, what God has blessed you with. In the world we all live in each of our lives can become very conflicted. Why would I make this statement? Well because most of us say we want someone to love or someone too love us unconditionally and really mean something else. By those who may be confused by this last statement, I'll explain it this way. Some of us say we want a good man or good woman, but when God blesses those who ask, with that good or special person most don't know how to act. Then they are confused or conflicted. I have heard many of men or women say, that someone is too good or too loving to be their type of man or woman. Sounds funny doesn't it? But in a conflicted life many don't understand this very important fact. If you pray , then ask God to give you something, in his own time he will give those ,who ask the desires of their hearts. Like my late grandmother would always say, "Be careful what you ask for, because you just may get it". The question is, Are you prepared to receive your blessing? Because if you are not, then very soon after you receive it, then it will be lost. Because you are living a conflicted life.

Have a blessed day,

Charles

 John 3:9 No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God.

Reach For The Stars!

When I look up into the sky, I often think about the unaccomplished goals that I haven't reached yet. Now 2013 is almost here and what I should do is not make the same mistakes as I  have made in previous years or my past.  Every New Year, most of us make New Years resolutions, that we never keep. But what we all should do is improve ourselves and do better. The old saying  that my late grandmother use to say, which is, "When you know better ,you should do better".( This is even some advice I should take going into 2013.) Put God first and then head of your life or home then its a guarantee to make your pathways straight. Also go to church at least once a week or twice a week, depending on your denomination. Despite what most people think, there is no religion better than the other. Serving God is not a competition and you will not get a prize for going to a certain church or for going to church more often than someone else. Its what you do after you leave church that counts. Praising God in and out of church, acting like you forgot what you learned while you were in church is living a lie. If you are going to be a christian, then be one , because most people can spot a fake or a pretender a mile away. Be yourself and never forget who you are. Never live your life trying to impress anyone or anybody. Most people tend to respect those who are real and in the world we all  live in there are too many fake people .
Be more understanding, try to learn why a person is a certain way before you criticize  or judge someone. Besides who are you to judge anyway? In truth there is only one true judge and that's God. He created man and woman with different personalities. Just because someone acts a certain way , does something different than you or l doesn't give us the right too judge them. In Gods eyes we all are sinners and no one is perfect. Every man or woman on Earth today could use a little improvement and we all could  learn new things. So stop thinking that you are above anyone else, because no one is perfect. Some may have more riches or income than others but that doesn't make them better. Because when it all boils down to it ,God has his way of showing us that we all are really the same. All you have to do is go through a storm like Katrina and  then you will see what I am talking about. When the storm Hurricane Katrina ran through Louisiana or Mississippi we were all the same. The rich, middle class and poor all were without power or water. We all had to line up at the gas stations or grocery stores and wait on someone to help us. That in itself should show the power of God.
Try new things , learn new things, eat  new foods and walk into open doors. Most of us let fear or doubt keep us from achieving or reaching our goals . God is a good God and he wants all of us to be happy or successful. All we have to do is pray, then step out on faith, then take chances more chances and trust in him. God knows our heart and he knows our desires. That's why we all have to be careful when we pray or  for what we wish for, because we just might get it. The old saying is," To be careful for which you ask for, because you just might get it". There will be a time you will be blessed with the opportunity to get a new job, a new home or even the love of your life. But out of  fear we keep ourselves  from reaching our goals or from keeping us from being happy. We should never let anything keep us from that, not even ourselves. Because if we do, we will be living a life full of regrets, saying what we should have done and what could have been done. There is an old saying my grandmother used to say which is, 'Sometimes opportunity knocks only once". Do not let that moment slip away or you may regret it for a lifetime.
2013 should be a blessing for us all. If we prayed more, trusted God more, loved ourselves more, then we all would have complete lives. Its up to you and I to get what's ours. Nothing can stop us from being happy or successful. If we just trust God and then  reach for the stars, we can do or achieve anything. With God as the head of your life, being more humble, understanding, loving, never judgmental and patient. You and I will live the life others only dream of. So start your New Year off right and go after you dreams. After that put 2012 in the past and move on with your life. If you do not reach or go after your dreams , then  you can only blame the person in the mirror for your failures . Reach for the stars or for new heights, go after your dreams or desires and have a very Happy New Year!!!
Have a blessed night and Happy New Year!!!!
Charles
Psalm 21:3 You welcomed him with rich blessings and placed a crown of pure gold on his head.

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Psalm 54:7 For he has delivered me from all my troubles, and my eyes have looked in triumph on my foes.

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Psalm 59:17 O my Strength, I sing praise to you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God.

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Psalm 112:8 His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.

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Psalm 118:7 The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I will look in triumph on my enemies.

The Cross I Bare

I have been asked this question often, "Why do good people seem too suffer while evil people always seem to prosper"? Living in today's world its easy to see that people who steal or take from others are the ones that seem to have it all. What troubles me is that my son that I am raising also sees this. I have to remind him, that everything that looks good isn't always good or that what looks good on the outside doesn't mean that its good on the inside. But even I sometime is amazed that people who do the wrong thing, treat their parents, husband or wives, with disrespect are the ones that always seem to prosper. It makes one ask themselves this question, If being a good man or a good woman is overrated? That is when I have to remind myself that Jesus God son, was a perfect man and he too had to suffer in the land of the living. I also had to remind myself that those who prosper by doing wrong or evil eventually get caught and loose it all.

If you read your Bible you will realize that Gods son Jesus, who was perfect, and was free of sin . Its easy to see and realize that there was no better man or perfect man than Jesus. But he suffered and was crucified on our behalf. So if Jesus can suffer, why shouldn't man? I think in a way every man and every woman bares their own cross and we all suffer in some shape , form or fashion. When I think about the cross I bare, as a single father, African American and Christian . That sometimes it amazes me how cruel and evil people can be. Not only am I being criticized, harassed for being black, but also for being Christian and a responsible father. Its amazing when you think about it, when people just pick at you just for the love of doing bad or evil. I often have to remind myself, that I live in an imperfect world and there are a lot of evil people in it. Most people you encounter are not God fearing people, even the ones that attend church on Sundays. Its sad to say , but sometimes the people you are sitting next too in church, may happen to be worse than the people outside of the church. That is why it is so important to pray and to follow Jesus example. God son Jesus prayed, while he was here on Earth and asked his father for strength. Because he knew that he would have to bare and carry heavy cross that bared the sins of man, on the behalf of all men. Everyday we all bare our own personal crosses, some may carry them while they are at home and others while they are away. When I have evil people who may test my patience, I look to the cross that I wear on my neck everyday. Its a constant reminder that God son Jesus died and bled so that we may live . There is no greater sacrifice than that precious gift of life . My advice to anyone who is blessed enough to read this , if your are feeling low and your burdens seem to overwhelm you. Look to your cross then give your burdens or problems to Jesus. As for your sins or mistakes that you have made in your past . Ask God for forgiveness and know that they have already been paid for when Jesus died and bled on that  sacred day.

Have a blessed night,

Charles

Jeremiah 12:1 You are always righteous, O LORD, when I bring a case before you. Yet I would speak with you about your justice: Why does the way of the wicked prosper? Why do all the faithless live at ease?
Psalm 37:7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not yourself because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked devices to pass.
Psalm 49:16 Do not be overawed when a man grows rich, when the splendor of his house increases;

Before The Year Ends

    

As I think or ponder another year almost gone, I often think about my late grandmother because I really miss her so much. I miss her wise words of wisdom and her rare unconditional love. I miss her smile, her warmth, her unique way of solving problems or her way of handling complicated issues. My late grandmother had a way with people and she never met a stranger. She loved her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and she especially loved people.My late grandmother has been gone for over 10 year's now . I just want to take this time to say, I love you grandmother and I miss you. As I give tribute too my late grandmother, because at this time of year, I can't help but think of something she once told me . She told me never to emulate the rest of the world and to always dare to be different. I remember her saying to me,  "Never make a New Years resolutions , but instead do what you plan to do now before the year ends". When I asked her to explain this statement too me. Then my grandmother asked me this question; Baby, you do want improve your life or want to do better in the year coming than the year past? Don't you? I said yes grandma I do. Then she said never put off today, what you can do tomorrow, because if you do then you will add more to another day. My advice to you Chuckie,  is to start your New Year off the way you would like to end it. Also learn from your past mistakes, take what you are doing right and improve on it. Then leave what you were doing wrong in the past , never look back and then move forward. My late grandmother had a famous saying that I loved," The way you bring in the New Year is the way you will end the next one". In other words if you would like to have a better year, than the one before, then start doing what needs to be done before the year ends.

My advice to anyone who is blessed enough to read this, clean out your closets today, then get rid of old things, bad habits or old problems. For those who may be confused by my last sentence, let me explain. If you happen to be in a bad relationship, horrible marriage , in financial trouble or anything that may hold you back from having a successful year. Do what you can to fix what bothers you today and get rid of the problems that you can't fix tomorrow . If your problems are very complicated or seem impossible to solve, then pray and ask God for direction. Its been my experience that if you take care of or solve the problems of today, the less you will have to deal with the next day or tomorrow. So keep in your life what's good for you and get rid of things that hurt or harm you. Start everyday, with prayer and praise for God has blessed you. Learn from past mistakes, then move on to better things or greater things. Be mature , never allow anyone or anybody use your time for games or foolishness. Smart people avoid immature or ignorant people. Because eventually they will only become obstacle's that will soon get in your way. I once told a friend of mine, that sometimes its okay to give up, too let go of the past or to let go of our problems. Why? Because there are something's in our life that can't be helped or solved by man. Before a New Year begins all problems or issues should be placed in the hands of the Lord, before the year ends or a New Year begins.
Have a Happy New Year,
Charles

P.S. To all my friends and fellow readers around the world please, be careful when you drive. Please Buckle your seat belts and always drive safely. Never drink or drive, because it may cause harm too you or may cause others to loose their life. Always be aware of your surroundings , because even though its New Years, there always will be evil people out there seeking to harm or to destroy your way of life. Use this holiday to tell the ones you hold special in your heart that you love them. Never let fear be a factor in your life when it comes to love, opportunities or blessings. Because fear, doubt and temptation, are the devils most useful tools to keep you away from your blessings. New Years for some can be a very stressful holiday and the devil uses this holiday to influence people into doing the wrong things or to sin. Happy New Year!!!

The Truth, The Light And The Way

    

One of my friends came to visit me today and ask me to pray for her. She was having a hard time with her life, her family and was separated from her husband. Being that I myself have been in, her shoes before I really understood why she was hurting. Even though some of us treat marriage as if its not very important we both had no intentions on getting divorced . I understood how she felt because while I was going through my divorce I often felt conflicted and sad. When I first got married I thought that I would be in love forever. But as the old saying says, Nothing last forever. There is a verse that's is written in the Bible, where it clearly says that the only thing that last forever is God. Its really sad when you think that you finally met perfect someone to share your love or your life with and then in a blink of an eye its over. I often wonder what went wrong and why did it have to end. Going through a painful divorce can have you afraid to love again. So when my friend came too me for help with her own problems I felt compelled to help. She loved her husband very much and was hurt when he came home that night, just too tell her that he didn't love or want her anymore. She cried out to me and said, "Charles I thought that my marriage would last forever! I have been a good wife, a wonderful mother, I attend church regularly and I have done everything God asked me to. I prayed at night and asked God to help me. Why is it that God is turning his back on me and my marriage? Why did my husband do this to me, hurt me and leave me all alone? Please tell me why?
As tears flowed down her eyes, my heart went out to her, because I understood how she felt and seeing her cry I understood her pain. Its sad too say, but some people only get married for convenience or just for the ideal of being married. But what most don't know or care to realize is that they are hurting people. There are people out there that don't care who they hurt and only care about their own feelings or needs.
 After talking to my friend about what happened in her marriage, she told me to my surprise that she wasn't disturb by the fact that he didn't want her or love her anymore. She was more hurt because he lead her to believe that he was ready to settle down and to be married. She said Charles why did he lie to me , then deceive me and have me thinking that I have found my soul mate? She went on to say, you are a man so tell me why do men lie and play game with peoples heart? Then I looked at her with a smile and asked her do you really believe that all men play those type of games? Then she said, "No I'm sorry, I know in my heart that God still creates good men, I am just hurt". Then I asked her did you pray and consult God before you got married? Then she looked at me and said well I thought when I prayed , then asked God to send me a husband that he was it. Then I smiled and said maybe you made the same mistake as I have. I too prayed and asked God for a wife, but what I didn't do was wait. When I met a woman that I thought had everything I wanted in a woman, I fell heads over hills for her and I loved her with my heart istead of with my head. What I didn't pay attention to was those warning signs and I forgot one fact that every God fearing man or God fearing woman should know. That when we pray, God is not the only one listening. Then she looked at me with puzzled eyes and said Charles what are you talking about? Then I said, Sometimes when we pray, the devil listens in so he can fool or deceive us. He knows that men or women are impatient and he also knows that God answer prayers. But what he does do is take advantage of our loneliness and sends us someone that he knows is not good for us. And in the process he tries to ruin Gods blessing. I went on to tell her that I don't know if God sent you this man to be your husband, but what I do know is if, you only waited until God gave you an answer then maybe you could have avoided all of these heartaches. So pray my friend and seek God for an answer. For only he knows the truth, the light and the way.
Have a blessed night,
Charles
1 Corinthians 14:25  And thus are the secrets of his heart made manifest; and so falling down on his face he will worship God, and report that God is in you of a truth.

Rejoice!

There comes a time in all of our lives, when we all become tired. We grow tired of the lies, the drama, stress, confusion and all the bad things that life has to offer. To many of us it seems doesn't  matter what we do or how hard we try it, because nothing we do comes out right. At our jobs many of our employers are never satisfied with our performance and always seem to want more production, but with less pay. At some of our homes, there are ungrateful, children, husbands and wives that only seem happy if they are making life miserable or a  living hell. One may ask is God pleased with my life or is he trying to punish me for my past mistakes? Or they may ask, how can I free myself from all this drama or stress? Is God our Father in Heaven trying to tell me something? Answer; Pray and then  allow God to move things or certain people out of your life. When God moves, things happen! When God takes, its always for your own good and he always replaces it with something, good or better. If you happen to been fired from your job or laid off; going through a divorce because your husband or wife are unworthy of your love; been told that I don't love you or need you in my life. Rejoice because God has something better planed for your life.

For those who are in need of prayer, I offer this one too you. Oh God, God of peace and love , I love you. Please Oh God take away all or anything that has hurt me. Free my troubled heart from this pain and allow me to love again. For I know Oh God when I allow you too move things change and things happen. For I know nothing is too great or impossible for you to handle. I lay my life in your capable hands, to shape , mold it in a way that pleases only you and not man. For I know that only you know what's best for my life and my future. I have faith, trust and rejoice in your ways.
Thank you in advance in Jesus name we pray. Amen.
Charles
Psalm 66:4 All the earth bows down to you; they sing praise to you, they sing praise to your name." Selah

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Psalm 67:5 May the peoples praise you, O God; may all the peoples praise you.

Finished House?

Guest post of the week by Deangelo Spencer
It’s nice to think about the day when this house is finally finished being renovated. I am so sick of walking around in sawdust and hearing the drills going at 8 every morning until 5 at night – I guess that’s part of the deal when you’re a stay at home mom. The kids and my husband get to get out of the house everyday so they don’t have to deal with it but I am on my last nerve! I’ve been trying to tie up all the loose ends like looking into DIRECTstarTV and calling about decorators but all I can really think about is the way the house is totally in pieces. I know we agreed that it would make sense to do the renovations as soon as we moved in but in retrospect I sort of wish we had waited a year to get settled here so that I wouldn’t still be worried about unpacking and getting things in order. Oh well, hopefully in a couple of years this will all be a memory!

Heads Or Tails

I was blessed as a child because I had the pleasure of seeing and living around my great grandparents . The reason I feel blessed is because when they were alive , both of them passed on valuable knowledge to me as a child, that I now have the privilege to share with others today. As a child I remember my parents taking me , my brothers and sisters over to visit our great grandparents. What was strange to us at the time we also had two grandparents on both sides of the family living. I remember my mother explaining to us what grand and great grand meant. She would say your grandmother or your grandfather, are my mother or my father, the same applies to your father. But your great grandparents are the parents of your grandparents. What was a thrill to me was hearing my great grandmother and great grandfather communicate. I would laugh when my great grand would say, to my great grandfather," You be the head baby and I'll be the tail. Then she would say in her cajun accent ," You lead and I will follow". My great grand and my great grandfather had a beautiful relationship. You could clearly tell that they both loved each other, had deep respect for each others feelings and were truly happy people. They were married for over fifty years . After being around them as a child their happiness rubbed off on me and my brothers or sisters.

I was seven at the time when I recall having conversations with my great grand and I would laugh my head off, when my great grand talked or expressed herself , because to me it was funny .(To those who may asked why did I laugh? Well it because I was a kid and children laugh at everything) But even though I laughed at my great grand's words, I was curious or smart enough to ask her what she meant by her statements. She went on to say, Chucky in every business, marriage or relationship there is a head and there is a tail. But the head of any marriage or business should always be God, After that it has always been the mans role to lead. Then I shocked my great grand with these questions; I said, Great grand what if the woman makes more money than her husband or what if she is smarter than him too? Shouldn't she be the head and the husband be the tail? Should the husband follow the wife, if she happens to be stronger than her husband? Then my great grand smiled and said these words to me, Chucky you are a smart little fellow! How did you get so smart? Before I could answer her she said, Because you are carrying my blood and my genes that's why. Then she got serious and said, Chucky when God created both man and woman, he did so in order. First he created the man, then from a mans rib he created woman. She went on to say every since I have been old enough to remember men have always been, the leader, the provider and the head the of the family. I know we live in a new age now where women are seeking their independence. But as much as some women want to be independent of their male counter parts, they will be forever linked to man. Why you may ask? Well because in the beginning woman was created out of man and for the sole purpose to be the help mate to man.

I had this strange look on my face, because I really couldn't understand my great grand's big words. So she made it simple that even a child like me, at that time could understand. God our Father in Heaven is the head of all of our lives and without him we are nothing. Your great grand and I marriage or relationship works or survives because we both respect Gods divine order. God first, our Father, our provider , giver of life and of all things. The man second, the head, the decision maker, the provider and protector of the family. The wife third the helper, the help mate and the main reason the marriage or family survives. She looked at me and smiled then said, your great grand and I couldn't make it or survive without each. We depend on each other for strength and wisdom. Men can't make it without women and women couldn't make it without men. Why? Because we are both intertwined and God made it that way. Also because I am such a big help to your great grandfather and because we both have the same needs. We both understand our roles, we love each other ,we appreciate and have learned to understand each other differences. When we have discussions or disagreements, we talk to each other and not at each other. We truly respect each other and we both let each other do their parts. She would say, baby I can't be a man and your grandfather certainly couldn't be a woman. When we got married we never question who was the head or who was the tail. I let your grand father lead and I followed. Then allowed him too be a man that I fell in love with and in returns he allows me to be his queen . I trust him doing his part and he also knows without a doubt that I will do mine. If you follow Gods divine order the you too can have a happy marriage that will last a lifetime. What I have learned from my late great grandmother, are the very same principles that are written in the Bible. God has made both man and woman with many purposes in mind . To serve, owner , praise God and to follow his divine order. To be the head or the tail.

Have a blessed day,

Charles

Jeremiah 24:7 I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.